Some article titles (VOLUME 39 ISSUE 11):

] Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle

] U.S. Forms Own U.N.

] Local Mom Whips Up Some Of Her Famous War Pie

] Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy

] New Bomb Capable Of Creating 1,500 New Terrorists
] In Single Blast

] U.S. Draws Up Plan For Post-War Transitional
] Dictatorship In Iraq

] Sheryl Crow Unsuccessful; War On Iraq Begins

] Vital Info On Iraqi Chemical Weapons Provided
] By U.S. Company That Made Them

] U.S. Continues Proud Tradition Of Diversity
] On Front Lines

The Onion takes on Iraq the way only The Onion can..

The Onion | Operation Piss off the Planet

] Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall
] Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly,
] he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

] Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from
] over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge
] that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges
] in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the
] handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could
] make a fortune.
]
] "It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly
] said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make
] it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there
] so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in
] the moment."
]
] In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to
] divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of
] Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

Hahaha..

If the guys managed to nail 126 trades, taking $800 to $350m, he clearly has oodles of inside information. So much so, that time travel is about the only explanation for it.. It is eerie that there is no record of him.. Of course, he might not be using his real name.

What stocks did he buy? Thats the information I want..

Oh yeah.. And that one peice of information that the Weekly World News always leaves out that conclusively proves its all bullshit..

'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING

] Yet what was unthinkable 18 months ago has happened. The
] US has alienated those in the Islamic community who were
] its best hope. The challenge now is to limit the damage.

] Yet what was unthinkable 18 months ago has happened. The
] US has alienated those in the Islamic community who were
] its best hope. The challenge now is to limit the damage.

Osama must be laughing - theage.com.au

] Both bills would flatly ban the possession, sale, or use
] of technologies that "conceal from a communication
] service provider ... the existence or place of origin or
] destination of any communication".

Decius:
] OK, who knows who in TN. This is a huge mistake and it
] needs to be combated. Anyone know Donna Hoffman? Can we
] get a copy of this thing?

NAT would be illegal?! Truly insane.

Yes, that must be stopped.

Law in TN MUST be defeated

] While flipping through the channels last Saturday night
] trying to pick up news on the war, I came across a show
] that was teaching kids about the conflict. It looks like
] the show (or segment) is called Kodomo Nyusu (Kid's
] News). They were using toy props and cartoons to show a
] trio of very glum-looking kids what was happening in
] Iraq. It was too bizzare to pass up, so I grabbed my
] camera and started snapping photos.

Teaching Japanese Children about the Iraq War

] Support our Troops--but only those who Frag their
] commanding officer.

What the FUCK?!

Ok.. Being against the war is _NOT_, I repeat _NOT_ anti-American. Protesting the war, also, is _NOT_ anti-American. This on the otherhand, is over the line.. I cannot accept any argument that advocating fragging is supporting "peace".

Independent Media Center - Peace movement?

] Exchange spokesman Ray Pellechia denied the station's war
] coverage was the cause. Citing "security reasons," he
] said the exchange had chosen to limit the number of
] broadcasters working at the lower Manhattan exchange
] since the war began, giving access only to networks that
] focus "on responsible business coverage."

Backlash against Al-J for showing you what war is like.

Whats the message here?? Don't filter your news the way America wants, and America's economy will not be so open to you? I don't like this.. They should be allowed to cover the NYSE..

Yahoo! News - NYSE Revokes Credentials for Al-Jazeera

] When it comes to political truth, I think many Arab
] citizens today can have a more informed perspective than
] Americans. Don't get me wrong - that's not because my
] country is more democratic, has better journalists, or
] more intelligent analysis. None of these is true (not yet
] - but I remain hopeful for Bahrain's new democracy). But
] we do see your news as well as our news as well as
] Israeli news. In my (so far limited) experience of
] American life, Americans are extremely sheltered in the
] news that they see. When I read Haartez, I learn about
] Isrealis suffering from the conflict, I learn what they
] are worrying about, I learn how they deal with their own
] extremists, and I learn about their many citizens that
] would like to see peace. And I learn all this from an
] Israeli perspective, so I hear a positive human side.
] Americans do not seem to be learning such things about
] Arabs. Reading British commentary does not count as
] getting "a different perspective".

[IP] In the Arab world today, we get a more informed perspective than you.

] The following is a copy of Mary (Ann) Wright’s letter
] of resignation to Secretary of State Colin Powell.
] Wright was most recently the deputy chief of mission
] at the U.S. embassy in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. She
] helped open the U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan,
] in January 2002.

More background on Wright:

] I have been a diplomat for fifteen years and the Deputy
] Chief of Mission in our Embassies in Sierra Leone,
] Micronesia, Afghanistan (briefly) and Mongolia. I have
] also had assignments in Somalia, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan,
] Grenada and Nicaragua. I received the State Department's
] Award for Heroism as Charge d’Affaires during the
] evacuation of Sierra Leone in 1997. I was 26 years in
] the US Army/Army Reserves and participated in civil
] reconstruction projects after military operations in
] Grenada, Panama and Somalia. I attained the rank of
] Colonel during my military service.

Key Points:

] I disagree with the Administration’s policies on Iraq

] I disagree with the Administration’s lack of effort in
] resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

] I disagree with the Administration’s lack of policy
] on North Korea

] I disagree with the Administration’s policies on
] Unnecessary Curtailment of Rights in America

More high level resignations...

] And for what? To avenge 9/11 by punishing a regime that
] had no proven role in it? Out of humane concern for the
] Iraqi people, whom we have been, by our own policies,
] starving and impoverishing for the last decade? In order
] to destroy possibly mythical "weapons of mass
] destruction" in Iraq, even while we abide their proven
] existence in such potentially irrational countries as
] Pakistan, Israel, India, France, and, hardly least, the
] United States? The Administration attacked before it ever
] provided a justification that would satisfy any but the
] most TV-enchanted Christian soldier.

Barlow's reaction to hearing the Iraq war had begun.

BarlowFriendz | CONTEMPLATING WAR IN THE LAND OF PEACE