] If you're in a contaminated building with no exits
] whatsoever, at least book it to the opposite corner.

I simply cannot get enough of the ready.gov parodies.

Unready.net - Be Amused - Chemical Threat - Visual Guide

5 minutes of icy goodness in nashville. kinda funny to see what happens when I southerner encounters ice.

WKRN Video Player

] DANBURY, Conn., 6:10 p.m. EST February 25, 2003 -
] Officials at Western Connecticut State University are
] looking into a dormitory party that allegedly featured
] female strippers.
]
] "They were naked with little high heel shoes on," Holly
] Szymanski, 18, a freshman said.

College Not Teased Over Alleged Dorm Stripper Bash

] A Pennsylvania woman is facing criminal charges for
] allegedly waving a sex toy at her nieces and nephew and
] striking one of the children on the head with the object.
] According to the below criminal complaint filed against
] Linda Schultz, the 36-year-old also threw the object at a
] 15-year-old niece and told the girl, "Have fun with it."

Okay, so my sense of humor is twisted.

The Smoking Gun: Archive

] Meet Robert Jackson. The 57-year-old Michigan man was hit
] Monday (2/24) with prostitution charges for organizing
] "CumFest 2003," a January sex party involving about 50
] men and three hookers. According to investigators,
] Jackson planned to film the fest--which took place in a
] suburban Marriott hotel--and sell a videotape of the
] event via a web site operated by one of the prostitutes.
] But, mid-orgy, Jackson's bash was crashed by Romulus
] cops, who learned of the gathering from the hotel's
] manager (who found out about "CumFest 2003" from a woman
] whose 17-year-old son had received an e-mail invitation
] to the event). Jackson, who faces a maximum of five years
] in jail on the felony charges, is no stranger to kinky
] scenes. He was nabbed in June 2001 for throwing a
] similar--though untitled--soiree in another Michigan
] hotel. (2 pages)

The Smoking Gun: Archive

] A woman in northeastern Ohio may have done too thorough a
] job with her snowman %u2013 or snow-woman, to be exact.

WPVI.com: Woman has to Cover Up Busty Snow-Woman

] A man whose daughter was hit with a snowball by a group
] of girls returned to the scene and opened fire with a
] gun, critically wounding a 10-year-old youngster, police
] said.

That's nice.

Police: Snowball fight led to girl's shooting

] Academics do need to pay more attention to the role of
] religious belief in American public life, not only in the
] past, but also today. Without close attention to the
] prophetic scenario embraced by millions of American
] citizens, the current political climate in the United
] States cannot be fully understood.
]
] Leaders have always invoked God's blessing on their wars,
] and, in this respect, the Bush administration is simply
] carrying on a familiar tradition. But when our born-again
] president describes the nation's foreign-policy objective
] in theological terms as a global struggle against
] "evildoers," and when, in his recent State of the Union
] address, he casts Saddam Hussein as a demonic,
] quasi-supernatural figure who could unleash "a day of
] horror like none we have ever known," he is not only
] playing upon our still-raw memories of 9/11. He is also
] invoking a powerful and ancient apocalyptic vocabulary
] that for millions of prophecy believers conveys a
] specific and thrilling message of an approaching end - not
] just of Saddam, but of human history as we know it.

Quick! Take a drug, get laied, go skydiving, drive your car real fast, write a novel, climb Mt. Everest, learn to swim, code that program, ask her out, run a marathon, get that peircing, write that song, go to that club, move to a city, move to the woods, eat sushi, do whatever the hell you gotta do, because the end times are here and George Bush is driving..

hahahaha

AlterNet: When U.S. Foreign Policy Meets Biblical Prophecy

Israeli scientists have devised a computer that can perform 330 trillion operations per second, more than 100,000 times the speed of the fastest PC. The secret: It runs on DNA.

A year ago, researchers from the Weizmann Institute of Science in Rehovot, Israel, unveiled a programmable molecular computing machine composed of enzymes and DNA molecules instead of silicon microchips. Now the team has gone one step further. In the new device, the single DNA molecule that provides the computer with the input data also provides all the necessary fuel.

Computer Made from DNA and Enzymes

] LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Pioneer 10, the first
] spacecraft to venture out of the solar system, has fallen
] silent after traveling billions of miles from Earth on a
] mission that has lasted nearly 31 years, NASA said
] Tuesday.
]
] What was apparently the spacecraft's last signal was
] received January 22 by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory's
] Deep Space Network. At the time, Pioneer 10 was 7.6
] billion miles from Earth; the signal, traveling at the
] speed of light, took 11 hours and 20 minutes to arrive.

CNN.com - Pioneer 10 falls silent after nearly 31 years - Feb. 25, 2003