] Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with
] the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very
] clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed
] to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't
] allowed to do. He collected those things into a
] hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site
] hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since
] gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it.

My Personal Favorites:

-I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
-Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
-Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.

213 things you can't do in the Army