message intercepted
some reasons why its not so bad that the white house is spying on our phone calls and emails:
- finally mothers everywhere have a way to defend themselves when they look through their children's things and read their diaries.
- when I tell my personal problems to that sexy automated voice at virgin-atlantic customer service, I can feel that someone is really listening.
- before every phone call you make, verizon can boost profits by adding a pre-recorded message saying "to ensure the safety of the free world the following conversation may be recorded"
- we can feel safe that even if there is a mix up, we still have the right to fair trial and can't be held indefinitely without formal charges...uh...strike that...bummer.
- finally, girls will stop referring to me as their "little terrorist" and stop saying that they are going to "bomb my secret target of love".
- just as we are all born sinners, we are all born terrorists until we can prove our thoughts and text messages are pure.
- we can be sure that there are safeguards against listening to opposition parties' strategy conference calls...come on...its foolproof.
- just as we should avoid talking about condoms in school.. and instead just teach abstinence...we should stop talking about the root causes of terrorism and just focus on killing terrorists.
- if kidnapping and spying are considered terrorist activities the NSA may have to indict themselves.
- preventing terrorist attacks has finally been given the highest place in government function...above things that are more deadly...but just not as mean sounding...like basic health care.
- "civil liberty" can finally be replaced with "intelligent privacy"
