APRIL 29--Meet Harriette "Dolly" Kelton. The 97-year-old Texas woman--yes, 97--was arrested last week for driving her 1991 Honda Accord with an expired registration. After cops pulled Dolly over, they discovered that she had not paid a ticket previously issued for the same expired registration (and for which a warrant was lodged). Kelton, who was headed to a beauty salon appointment, was cuffed and instead taken to the Highland Park Police Department, where she posed for the below mug shot. After about two hours in custody, Dolly was released on her own recognizance and returned to her Dallas home. The nonagenarian's arrest, of course, has generated significant media interest, and even got Dolly a free trip to New York to schmooze today with Matt and Katie on the Today Show. (1 page)

Gotta love seeing cops perform a public good. The long arm of the DMV demands RESPECT. OBEY the clerks with guns.

Texas Cops Nab 97-Year-Old Scofflaw Granny - April 29, 2004

APRIL 27--Meet Elizabeth Lyvers and John Robert Gray. The dimwitted Kentucky couple was arrested Sunday for felony child abuse after taking pictures of Lyvers's two-year-old son smoking pot. The pair was nabbed when an employee at the convenience store where Lyvers, 24, and Gray, 20, dropped off their film called cops after seeing the offending images. According to Bardstown police, one photo shows Gray holding a pipe to the child's mouth while an unidentified man--who is being sought--lights the pipe (after his arrest, Gray acknowledged that the device contained marijuana). Lyvers's son--and a one-year-old fathered by Gray--were removed from the couple's home by state child welfare officials. The below mug shots were taken by the Nelson County Sheriff's Department. Along with the abuse charges, Lyvers and Gray have one other criminal headache: their central Kentucky home was robbed yesterday while they were bunking at the local lockup.

Couple Takes Pics Of Boy, 2, Smoking Pot - April 27, 2004

The couple, described by officials as a 32-year-old transsexual with female breasts wearing a purple thong and a 17-year-old boy in white boxer shorts, were admitted to the hospital for psychiatric evaluation.

Yahoo! News - Half-Naked Couple Cause Stir Up a Tree

The Bewitching Hour will soon be upon us!

WoW, this is a disturbing site. Its a time bomb complete with a ticker.

Hey... You think if we could convince this guy that if he needs to kill Bush to grab the attention of Hermione?

The Official Countdown Site to Hermione's 18th Birthday

LONDON, England -- Former Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan is recovering from facial injuries he suffered when he was allegedly attacked in a London pub.

He couldn't possibly look any worse...

CNN.com - Pogues star MacGowan attacked - Apr 21, 2004

] PODOLIANTSI, Ukraine - At age 33, Leonid Stadnik wishes
] he would stop growing. He's already 8 feet, 4 inches.
] Recent measurements show that Stadnik is already 7 inches
] taller than Radhouane Charbib of Tunisia, listed by the
] Guinness Book of World Records as the tallest living man.
] He's also gaining on the 8-11 Robert Wadlow, the tallest
] man in history.

Yahoo! News - Height a Pain for Ukraine's 'Gulliver'

] Namibian government officials have said they were
] disappointed to find that an expected visit from pop star
] Michael Jackson is not taking place.

Maybe Jackson changed his mind when he saw that the country's name was actually "Namibia" and not "NAMBLA."

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Music | Mix-up over Jackson Namibia visit

"I would rather not talk about it," Keilis-Borok told a news conference at the annual meeting of the Seismological Society of America.

" I know something you don't know... NANANANANANA!!!!"

Yahoo! News - Scientist Predicts Earthquake by Sept. 5

Being a Wiccan makes you feel Special, eh? Well shove your pride back down your throat, kids! This is your wake-up call.

Why Wiccans Suck

] The gate at the entrance to this tiny Sicilian village
] has come off its hinges and swings in the wind as cats
] wander into homes abandoned after a series of mystery
] fires.
]
]
] advertisement
] Spontaneous fires started in mid-January in the town of
] Canneto di Caronia, in about 20 houses. After a brief
] respite last month, the almost daily fires have flared up
] again — even though electricity to the village was cut
] off.
]
] An endless flow of scientists, engineers, police and even
] a few self-styled “ghostbustersâ€? have descended on
] the town, searching for clues to the recent spontaneous
] combustion of everything from fuse boxes to microwave
] ovens to a car.

[ What the fuck!?!? -k]

MSNBC - Blazing mystery is straight from the ‘X-Files’