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Current Topic: Movies

Slaughtered Vomit Dolls
Topic: Movies 1:06 pm EST, Jan 14, 2006

I guess you could say that this one falls into the "acquired taste" category of films. Slaughtered Vomit Dolls combines some of the better elements of Subconscious Cruelty and the August Underground movies. All of these movies are pretty nasty. Subconscious Cruelty is artful enough to make some of the nastiness look almost beautiful. There's no beauty at all in the August Underground movies as they seemed to take effort to make them as gritty and unappealing as humanly possible. I thought these films were a bit rough to watch, but neither really succeeded in really disgusting me. Subconscious Cruelty was too ambient, and the August Undergrounds reached a certain level of vile and scraped along that intensity throughout. Slaughtered Vomit Dolls has ebbs and flows. It's like drowning slowly in an ocean of your own vomit. Through the use of jump cuts and surreal sound effects the whole movie sort of has the feel of a bad hangover. The assault continues as you get to briefly know several prostitutes who get introduced in intertwined snippets, get dehumanized both mentally and physically, and get brutally mutilated with some better gore than I expected. This is edited together with cuts of one of the girls performing in front of the camera when she was little. The film slows down a bit to take a closer look at these and some other prostitutes who you can't help but to see a bit differently than you did before as most of them are treated as similar inhuman objects. Until finally, one of the prostitutes seems more human than the others. You start to understand what the cutter seems to get off on through a kind of a bizarre love story focused around human suffering. This plot is almost so understated that it really isn't important at all. It does get somewhat draggy assed and repetitive after awhile in a montage of sex, vomit and blood, but it ends well. Overall, it does several new things with horror which I thought were fairly effective (and I've sat through MANY of these fucking things.) Not for the feint of heart.

Slaughtered Vomit Dolls


King Kong Sucked BIG Monkey dick
Topic: Movies 4:29 pm EST, Jan  3, 2006

It's usually polite to mention that you'll be giving spoilers away with a review of this type, but I think that can be waived for lack of any suspense or surprise for the entire movie. There's nothing to give away.

Most bowel movements contain more excitement... While they might not normally be so interesting to film, at least they gain points for concision. I have never taken a 3 hour shit, but King Kong was as close a simulation as I'm likely to find. You don't even get to see the star for a full hour. Most adept film makers generally take advantage of a full god damn hour of your time by providing mostly relevant content so that the story moves along. Samuel JacksonU (oops... make that PETER Jackson) seems to have a different theory on this because it takes him a full hour to show the main characters get on a boat and go to a fucking island. During which time we meet in detail several mostly irrelevant characters. Oh, and they spend ten minutes avoiding a wall in a drawn out unremarkable sequence. They finally land at the island which seems at first to be abandoned... but is really filled with dirty dark people who've apparently been hiding in holes since prehistoric times just to ambush a group of idiots. They seemed to be chanting something which sounded really close to "DONKEY KONG!!!!" over and over. But anyway you finally get to meet the main character Donkey Kong as he quickly runs away with the girl. The movie then takes 45 minutes to re-hash Jurassic Park and kill off a few people in interesting and pointless ways. Then the wimpy script writer saves the girl from Donkey Kong and everyone else captures the thing. They don't even bother explaining how they got the fucking thing on the boat, they just cut to the unveiling of Donkey Kong Live on stage. It doesn't take him long to break free, break a bunch of shit, harass the wimpy scriptwriter, and recapture the girl (who goes seeking out Donkey Kong). This is where they take about 15-20 minutes to turn Kong into an ET like figure with things like a ten minute ice skating sequence. Yep, that's right Ice Skating! He and the girl climb up the empire state building where they slowly fall in love (because 25 ton gorilla's are so damn endearing). Occasionally even the ape would get bored and climb higher to swat at air planes. Then go back to courting the bitch. Eventually she climbs up with him to protect him from the air planes which are shooting him. Donkey Kong then promptly falls over and dies. The girl hooks up immediately afterwards with the wimpy scriptwriter (what a slut... she could have at least waited until they buried the fucking thing). The End. But not before Jack Black says something puke-worthy.

I want to see an edit of this movie thats a half hour long even though I know they're probably going to stuff an even more bloated 5 hour version on the DVD. I also think they need to make an alternate version where Donkey Kong has the face of George Bush. Oh well... It would probably still be dog shit.


Michael Moore Hates America - DVD Now Available!
Topic: Movies 8:41 pm EDT, Oct 11, 2005

A much better documentary than you can expect from Michael Moore. It doesn't so much tackle his politics, but really criticizes his methodology. It makes a convincing argument that shows him to be a fat, sensationalist, self-aggrandizing, hypocrite.

Penn Jillete even gives an interview... (where as michael moore refused)

Michael Moore Hates America - DVD Now Available!


TheForce.Net - Fan Films - Short Films - Revelations
Topic: Movies 4:45 pm EDT, May  2, 2005

] The destruction of the Jedi Temple is devastating.
] Accusing Separatists of the attack, Emperor Palpatine
] declares martial law on Coruscant. As the Imperial
] presence spreads to most systems, Palpatine calls the
] scattered Jedi order ineffective. Their protests are
] denounced as treason, and all Jedi are declared traitors
] and are now fugitives of the Empire.
]
] Looking for a way to turn the tide in this battle, both
] the surviving Jedi and the Empire are looking for a
] mystical Jedi artifact said to give the bearer great
] power.

Might possibly be better than episode III. Especially considering it was made by fans for 20K.
The production website is here:http://www.panicstruckpro.com/revelations/revelations.html

TheForce.Net - Fan Films - Short Films - Revelations


RE: An Ever-Shorter Leap From Theater to DVD
Topic: Movies 3:10 pm EST, Mar 16, 2005

noteworthy wrote:
] It's no secret that movie studios, which generally earn
] more money from home video than box office returns, are eager
] to capitalize on DVD dollars as soon as they can.

]
]
] Remember the recent article about changes in the number of R
] rated films? This is part of the explanation.

For what they charge at the box office, they should give you a DVD as well.

RE: An Ever-Shorter Leap From Theater to DVD


Sony Pictures - Steamboy
Topic: Movies 11:18 am EST, Mar 16, 2005

] A retro science-fiction epic set in Victorian England,
] Steamboy features an inventor prodigy named Ray Steam who
] receives a mysterious metal ball containing a new form of
] energy capable of powering an entire nation. This young
] boy must use it to fight evil, redeem his family, and
] save London from destruction. The lush Victorian
] interiors and the elegance of the era's mechanical design
] allows Otomo to create dazzling visual backgrounds and
] machines for this film. With more than 180,000 drawing
] and 400 CG cuts, Steamboy is sure to be one of the most
] elaborate animated features of 2004.

Looks pretty good from the trailer.

Sony Pictures - Steamboy


Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Documentary | Metafilter
Topic: Movies 9:17 am EST, Feb  3, 2005

] The Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Documentary is going to be
] an interesting project. Filmmaker Eric Steel applied for
] a permit to film the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco
] for a year, saying he was trying to "capture the
] grandeur" of the bridge. But what he actually ended up
] doing was capture 19 suicides and many attempts. He is
] now working on a feature-length documentary about these
] suicides, and has 100 hours of interviews with family
] members, psychiatrists, and some of the people who
] attempted suicide but didn't follow through. Now that
] he's revealed what his documentary is and what it will be
] about, a lot of people are pretty ticked off.

Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Documentary | Metafilter


Program Details for Night of the Living Dead
Topic: Movies 12:02 am EST, Apr  2, 2004

The copyright's cooked on this one. Might as well take one.

Program Details for Night of the Living Dead


'Super Size Me' Documentary
Topic: Movies 2:20 pm EST, Jan 26, 2004

] Within a few days of beginning his drive-through diet,
] Spurlock, 33, was vomiting out the window of his car, and
] doctors who examined him were shocked at how rapidly
] Spurlock's entire body deteriorated.

Really, besides giving the Irish a bad name, Mc Donalds gives Americans a bad name too. For the good of McCulture, don't trust the clown, the golden arches is really the modern day swastika. Don't take your kids out for a happy meal, they'll get conditioned into thinking that mcMenu is good food. Anyone got any video footage of a McDonalds burning down? Please post it.

'Super Size Me' Documentary


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