Sad news today in the mint world. Velamints' creator, Dolf Angrogen, passed away at 82.

RIP Mint Creator Angrogen. It has finally died.

Velamints Creator Dies at 82.

So I reckon Michelle Obama sits around, forcibly drugged on valium and thorazine so that she doesn't kick her husband right in the ass for being such a turncoat to anyone but Republicans, robber barons and Wall Street.

Rather than tackle poverty or inequality or the fact that our nation is falling into the sewers faster than you can say "one term," our first lady has been killing time like a schoolyard bully picking on fat kids.

"You kids are fat, and that means you can't serve in the military for us, so skip dessert, eat a bowl of rice a day and live your life like a North Korean peasant. Here's your green smock. They only come in one size, so lose weight, you fat little shit." She basically says to the youth of America.

One kid raises his hand.

"Miss Obama! All we can afford are fatty, undernourishing foods like McDonalds and the shit they sell at Aldi because my dad lost his job three years ago, your husband is forcing us to buy health insurance and he took all our money to help banks in their quest to fuck 99% of our nation. Oh, and I forgot about the OBAMA tax cuts. We used to call them the Bush tax cuts, until your husband embraced them, while telling us he didn't embrace them, but passed them anyway. I mean, if starving to death on some days while gorging on trans-fat laden chemical beef helped allow gays to serve in the military, then it's all worth it. I call that a fair trade-off."

"You are mistaken, on one point, kid" The first lady said, "We let the rich have the Obama tax cut so that the middle class could retain their tax cut, too."

"Um...what's the middle class?" The kid shifted in his desk, which cracked and whined under his girth.

"It's this family that lives in Illinois, down the block from where we used to live. They make sixty thousand dollars per year. Do you really want to see them pay more in taxes?"

The kid slumped over onto his desk, dead of a heart attack.

At least Chris Christie, the teacher-hating governor of New Jersey supports poor, drugged up, silenced Michelle in her quest to help make every man, woman and child, gay or straight, physically fit enough to die overseas in the courageous act of protecting the wealthy people in our nation.

Chris Christie says: "I think it's a really good goal to encourage kids to eat better. I've struggled with my weight for 30 years. And it's a struggle. And if a kid can avoid that in his adult years or her adult years, more power to them. And I think the first lady is speaking out well,"

So, when it's Michelle Obama, who seems relatively fit, telling you that you are a fat fuck, it is easy to dismiss the sentiments as bullying.

When a big fat piece of shit such as Chris Christie calls you a fat fuck, at least you know what he is talking about. He is one of the most morbidly obese people I have ever seen! The local press ran a picture of him in shorts and a white (sweaty) t-shirt picking strawberries, a few months ago. He looked like a bucket of shit! He was so fat that if he fell over, you know he couldn't get back up again. So fat that his wife would suffocate trying to give him a blowjob!

I urge all of you to email the office of Chris Christie, governer of New Jersey and ask him when was the last time he saw his dick! You just KNOW that fucker pisses all over the seat and then leaves it there.

Fat Chris Christie Fights the Obesity of Others...

Well, after a long stretch in Federal Prison for decapitating my neighbor and feeding her remains to this panhandler who apparently wasn't lying all those times he told me he needed "to get something to eat" I have returned to www.memestreams.net. And while some of you may know that I have always had half of a love-hate relationship with the memestreams concept and community, I might say that this site, upon reflection, is nowhere near as stupid and shitty as Facebook, Twitter, Myspace or most of the other inanely named pieces of shit littering the side of the information superhighway.

So, in exchange for your forgiveness, I offer you...

The recipe for Coca Cola.

The recipe:
Fluid extract of Coca: 3 drams USP
Citric acid: 3 oz
Caffeine: 1 oz
Sugar: 30 (unclear quantity)
Water: 2.5 gal
Lime juice: 2 pints, 1 quart
Vanilla: 1 oz
Caramel: 1.5 oz or more for color

The secret 7X flavor (use 2 oz of flavor to 5 gals syrup):
Alcohol: 8 oz
Orange oil: 20 drops
Lemon oil: 30 drops
Nutmeg oil: 10 drops
Coriander: 5 drops
Neroli: 10 drops
Cinnamon: 10 drops

Go make millions! I'd advise you to put the cocaine back in the stuff, though. That'll give it an edge the other cola makers don't have.

An Apology and a Peace Offering!

george1455 wrote:
As the name implies, the Friday Grab Bag is a collection of community questions taken from the official Dark Age of Camelot forums. Add some announcements into the mix and you have a good read.

Q. Is Quillan Muire in Muire's tomb supposed to drop any loot? It seems like he is the "boss" of the dungeon but she drops nothing different from his surrounding guards. I know he has a quest associated with her, but the other named Muires along that quest can drop items. Thanks!

A. I would probably haggle a bit with Muire. I would say, "Hey, we got the same last name. Or maybe my last name is your first name. Suppose we are related! After all, how many Muires have you met in your life? Gimme a dollar off that piece of shit thing, there."

Q. I have noticed that the blunt weapon given to druids by the trainer is called an "Arch Mace". But it is actually a hammer. Is it supposed to be a hammer and is mislabeled or is it a mace with the wrong graphic?

A. It is neither. Rather, it is a vibrator. The whole thing was fucked up. Still is, as a matter of fact.

Q. How do I add the guild ranks to the house friends list so I can set the different permission levels?

A. That is an excellent question. Thank you for asking it. I would actually approach the house of friends list, and I would ask them what they are. I assume you are better acquainted with the house of friends list. You may want to ask them if they would hold onto your guild ranks for awhile. Even if you never intend on going back for them, just do that. That will fool them, enough. Offer to get them high as an incentive.

Q. My question involves the Alchemy drop items. Why does the Ancient Crushed Focus Stone only drop one at a time, while the Ancient Troll Blood, Ancient Giant Blood, Ancient Mirror, Ancient Pure Mercury, and the Enriched Quicksilver drops off the same mobs in stacks of 5? The Ancient Necrotic Brain Fluid and the Ancient Lich Tooth will drop in stacks of 3. There doesn't appear to be a level variation between the drops, and they are all used with Alchemy of 1000+. Shouldn't they all be dropped in the same quantity?

A. In a perfect world, that is indeed what would occur. However, people have had thousands of years to build a decent society with fair, pragmatic rules. Literally all our planet's best minds have come and gone, all trying to perfect this civilization and they've not yet succeeded. So what makes is think that this thing was gonna be any better? That's actually a better question than yours.

Q. I've been looking for a trophy mob - a pig called Jari. I've tried for many game-days to get it to spawn, either in the Abbey Farm or the Bandit Camp, by killing Wild Sows nearby. No luck so far. Is there any way you can confirm that it still exists or any advice you can offer?

A. Yes, dead things can't fuck or inseminate or be imprenated. That's the first thing you have to ... [ Read More (0.3k in body) ]

RE: As the name implies, the Friday Grab Bag is a collection of community questions taken from the official Dark Age of Camelot forums. Add some announcements into the mix and you have a good read.

Whenever anyone sees the word memestreams, they think of menstruationn, or menstrual flow. That is not what you wanna be selling, now is it? Considering this site doesn't really do anything, per se, I hhave a pproposal for you guys. I don't need a big of the profits or anything. I could go for maybe 20 percent, or even 18, oonce you hit the big time! You need to change into penpal.com! THAT'S RIGHT! www.penpal.com. You could use this site to create fake penpals over the computer. People like a good penpal and this is just the environment to receive one. At church, people likne up for the body of Christ, but many more would line up for a penpal on wwww. penpal.com. This is an untapped market. You would have the innovative idea and passionate teamwork to exemplify. With this patented system of offering the consumer apenpal, will blow the lid off of a sexcret uunderground of people in search of a penpal. Much like Jonas Salk discovered the polio bvaccine, or jarvik engineered the first jarvik heart, you will be on the cutting edge of a breathrough in your field. This is win-win situation. Your drive and committment to excellence will allow you to provide millions with a new penpal. See you in our mansion.

www.penpal.com!!! (Whaddya think?)

Sun October 28
(2:00 Start)
J & A/ 35 3rd Ave. Booking Prod. Presents
@Lousyland Studios
35 3rd Ave., Long Branch, N.J.
Co. Jack Presents
(In Conjunction w/CINECALL SOUNDTRACKS, THE IDIOM, .
THE UNSUNG HEROES FOUNDATION.
WOODEN SHOE BOOSTORE(Phil.,Pa.),WE ARE THE MIGHTY,.
WALKING ENGLISH.com. ENCORE CONSULTANTS. & AM PROSOUNDS
Multi-Media Halloween Party w/
19TH ISSUE/OF FABRIC STAIRCASE/Release Party
The Sex Zombies
Charlie Don't Surf
Recreational Arts & Pets
Phasmida
Xylophone of Wrench
with special appearances by
acoustics; LONNIE EDDIE BODEEN, OBOE YOU NOTHING
poets; DAN & JARED WEEKS, PROF. VILE, LADY B,
artwork by; Doug Z , Ken Bastard, Skull-a-boy,
Megan Gale, ...and more
* $10.00 Show
2:00 to 9:00 Show

@Brighton Bar
(9:00 Start)
Co. Jack Presents
'An Unautumnated Travelling
Acoustic Circus Special w/
Eddie Bodeen
The Hip Shots
Chris Morrisy
* $5.00 Show; FREE ADMISSION w/ MULTI-MEDIA TICKET

Fabric Staircase Issue 19 Release Party

This Wednesday, October 10th is a big day!

At the Brighton Bar, on Brighton Ave in beautiful Long Branch, NJ, Patrick Veil (of the Sex Zombies and Fabric Staircase Magazine) will perform an acoustic set of humorous, topical and fearless tunes. Come watch acoustic become dangerous weaponry in the hands of a madman. Patrick is in the middle of a tour with the increasingly popular Sex Zombies, and this special acoustic performance guarantees to entertain.

Speaking of Madmen, singer/songwriter Lonnnie (of Sunshine Flipside) makes his return to the Brighton stage with a set of new tunes that have to be heard to be believed! A genius tunesmith with a penchant for aching melodies, insightful (occasionally hilarious) lyrics, and potent performances.

Also performing are The Hip Shop, Nick Gere and Eddie Bodeen. For more info, check http://www.thebrightonbar.com

Don't miss this show...unless you are already playing a gig somewhere else. No other excuses will cut the mustard!

Patrick Veil and Lonnnie to perform at Brighton Bar!!!

Vile wrote:
] Come on out to Coffee Blue on Saturday, April 23 for a great
] acoustic show by two outlaw rock and rollers from the shitty
] Jersey Shore. Patrick Veil of the Sniperz and Lonnie
] Rutledge, formerly of Sunshine Flipside, will each perform
] acoustic sets beginning at 9 PM. Admission is Free, but be
] sure to order drinks and snacks and tip the bartender well.
] All ages. Free hookers.

Free hookers are legal even.

RE: Patrick Veil and Lonnie Rutledge to Perform at Coffee Blue, 4/23/04

Howdy folks! Guess time it is? It's time for Junkie Porn!!! Baby, who woulda' thought it would come to this? This is a seriously disturbing link, so click on it at your own risk. I personally wish all porn stars looked like these lovely specimens, but then again, I realize that what I think is sexy and what you people think is sexy are probably two different things. So America, Keep your Paris Hilton's and your Jessica Simpsons. I'll be happy with these Nancy Spungens! Although, seriously, as you examine these pics, take a look at some of the places these chicks managed to get track marks! On their damned faces!?! who the hell shots dope into their forehead? Their nose? Either way this link is fascinating. I would subscribe to the site these pics came from! If anyone can solve the mystery of these pics' origin, then drop me a line.

The Vile Side: Hey Kids, Gather 'Round For Junkie Porn!!!

By Bug.

Tonight the blood flowed and cigarettes scorched at the Brighton Bar in Long Branch, NJ when the Sniperz opened for Tilt A Whirl and the Millionaire Reverends. Jacko, the intrepid promoter for The Bridghton Bar in Long Branch, had the balls to put the Sniperz onstage again, after their raunchy January debut, and the ensuing madness set the stage for another night of truly gritty musical entertainment. With a stomache full of rum and veins full of...um...adrenaline (sure, sounds good), I entered the CB's by the Sea of Brigton Bar and proceeded to pay about five bucks for quality entertainment, yet again.

I remember seeing The Dickies here during my youth at this place, which ranks among the high points of my post-high school existence, but tonight's entertainment showcased some of the most wild punk rock madness that could take the sleepy Jersey Shore city to Hell.

As an opening band, the Sniperz fucked everything up. They showed up late, the lead singer seemed more wasted than Iggy Pop circa 1973, and the drummer was apparently their lead guitarist sitting in for erstwhile drummer Johnny Larkin (of The Golden Dawn). Going White Stripes' style (one guitarist/vocalist and one drummer/vocalist), the audio-terrorists blared through ten or eleven disgusting songs about AIDS, abortion, heroin, Ronald Reagan and sundry other terrifying topics with gleeful abandon and skilless hatred for their audience. Not since the days of Dead Boys and GG Allin has a band cared less about caring and more about offending.

Lead Vocalist/guitarist Patrick Splat fucked up his own songs, lost his pants mid-set, feigned (?) masturbation, broke at least two strings, and spewed all manner of anti-social lyrics and thoroughly demeaning stage patter before vomiting into a bag from dopesickness. Drummer Jay D smashed away at the kit like a lion on a hyena. His background vocals provided a healthy support to Splat's snotty ramblings in a way that evoked some of the most exemplary germs gigs.

Tilt a Whirl mercifully took the stage from the Ocean County kooks to provide a breezy, punkish sonic fest of soaring melodies until the Millionaire Reverends worked their primal, gospel-cum-stooges rhythms out over the crowd. In all, I wound up having to hang out with the biggest assholes that played that evening- the local boys Snipers (never knew hell was local). Never see this band. Never unless you want to get fucked till your're sore in the parking lot afterward, like I did. Check out the Millionaire Reverends and Tilt A Whirl, though. They won't puke or bleed on you.
-Ladybug

The Snipers Puke and Burn In Long Branch 03/09/05