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Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters | The Onion |
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Topic: Humor |
6:23 pm EDT, Jun 8, 2010 |
LONDON— As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bullshit still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it. The toxic bullshit, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife. Though no one knows exactly how much of the dangerous bullshit is currently gushing from BP headquarters, estimates put the number at somewhere between 25,000 and 70,000 words a day. "We're looking at a truly staggering load of shit here," said Rebecca Palmer, an environmental scientist at the University of Georgia, who claimed that only BP has the ability to stem the flow of bullshit and plug it at its source. "And this is just the beginning—we're only seeing the surface-level bullshit. It could be years before we sift through it all and figure out just how deep this bullshit goes."
Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters | The Onion |
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PCs, The Internet, and Trucks |
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Topic: Humor |
7:14 pm EDT, Jun 2, 2010 |
Steve Jobs :"PCs are going to be like trucks," Jobs said. "They are still going to be around." However, he said, only "one out of x people will need them."
Former Senator Ted Stevens: And again, the Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes.
Does this make my mobile phone a Bitchen Camaro? These analogies are confusing me.. |
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Epic Kludges and Jury Rigs |
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Topic: Humor |
12:17 am EDT, Sep 8, 2009 |
Decius wrote: Apparently if you haven't already seen this you aren't very good at teh Internet.
Apparently, I fail the Internets. I good at the webs now. I has fixed it. Epic Kludges and Jury Rigs |
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Topic: Humor |
12:26 pm EDT, Apr 13, 2009 |
These days, when public officials talk about fighting piracy, they are not talking about college kids downloading music and movies. I feel this is an improvement. yo ho ho |
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