] "On one occasion, Ms. (Lisa) Foster (Thompson's court
] reporter for 15 years), saw Judge Thompson holding his
] penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable
] razor while on the bench," the petition reads.
]
] Several witnesses, including jurors in Thompson's court
] and police officers called to testify in trials, said in
] the petition they heard the "swooshing" sound of a penis
] pump during trials and saw the judge slumped in his
] chair, with his elbows on his knees, working the device.
] The witnesses said the pump sounded like a blood pressure
] cuff being pumped up.
]
] According to the petition, Thompson admitted he had a
] penis pump under the bench during a murder trial but he
] told investigators it was a gag gift from a friend.

Sometimes you just have to meme something... And it was either this, or an article about Cheney saying "fuck" on The Senate floor..

Yahoo! News - Judge Suspected of Masturbating in Court