This spring, the stoner screwball movie of 2004, “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle,” will get a sequel. This time, because of some unfortunate confusion on an airplane between a “bong” and a “bomb,” our slacker antiheroes are shipped off to the moviemakers’ idea of the worst prison imaginable.

On April 25, on a screen near you: “Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantánamo Bay.”

Nice.

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantánamo Bay - New York Times

Swedish director Ingmar Bergman, an iconoclastic filmmaker widely regarded as one of the great masters of modern cinema, died Monday, local media reported. He was 89 years old.

He was "probably the greatest film artist, all things considered, since the invention of the motion picture camera," Woody Allen said in a 70th birthday tribute in 1988.

In a press interview for her film "Away From Her", director Sarah Polley laments:

"It's sad to think there was a time when people lined up around the block to see Bergman movies ... and how unimaginable that is now."

How about a theatrical re-release of "Wild Strawberries" and "The Seventh Seal"?

Film Director Ingmar Bergman Dies

The director and writers of this film should be forced to walk the plank.

The plot is confusing and hard to follow. I'm guessing the writers had some coked up brainstorming session, and just decided to use all the ideas they came up with, regardless of if it made a good movie of not.

Seriously, don't see this movie. I lack the words to adequately convey how much this movie sucked. Normally I don't bother to post negative reviews of things, because it seems like a waste of typing.. But in this case, I want to save as many of you as much pain and boredom as possible. Don't waste three hours of your life on this piece of crap.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

The fate of the world hangs in the balance in this explosive action thriller. Brace yourself for nonstop action and chilling suspense, because there's no turning back in this pulse-pounding sequel that takes you Behind Enemy Lines for another adrenaline-fueled adventure! When a team of U.S. Navy SEALs is assigned to destroy a North Korean missile site and avert a possible nuclear strike, failure is not an option. But the mission is abruptly aborted, stranding four soldiers in enemy territory. Now, in order to survive, they must defeat the rebel forces that threaten their lives, their allies and the entire free world!

Where the hell did this come from?

Nevermind, I have a general idea..

This sequel has not even shown up yet if you query for the brand. The movie's IMDB listing is the only thing on the map! Odds are, that will not be the case by the time you get a chance to click that link, given a TV ad campaign has kicked off...

Direct to DVD.. No one cared, up till a few days ago... Real good timing for the folks who made this one...

Behind Enemy Lines: Axis of Evil (2006)

CASTING - FEATURE FILM - "Die Hard: Reset":

Seeking:

Male - 50s, Caucasian, senior FBI agent, commanding presence, reminiscent, corporate upper management, demanding, warm, empathetic...

Male - Mid 30's, Indian/Middle Eastern, computer analyst, FBI cyber crime division, emotional...

Male - 30S, latin, computer analyst, FBI cyber crime division...

Male - 30s, Caucasian, highly skilled, master hacker, icon in the hacker world, condescending attitude, computer savvy, portly...

Female - early 20S, Caucasian, attractive, clearly intelligent, college student, resilient...

Male - 20-30S, any ethnicity, ferociously intelligent, MTV cool, urban hip, mischievous streak...

Male - 20-30S, Any ethnicity, ex-FBI, smart, straight, fit...

Submission Deadline: 08-30-2006 - - Register Today by clicking HERE NOW

If it didn't cost money, I would sign up for the casting call. Just for the amusement factor. I love the Die Hard movies... Plus, Decius and I made the soon to be famous prediction in 2000 that the next Die Hard movie would take place in a data-center.

Why does the "master hacker" always have to be fat? Most of the best hackers I know are either average build or downright skinny.

Die Hard 4: Reset (Casting Call)

A double-amputee Iraq-war vet is suing Michael Moore for $85 million, claiming the portly peacenik recycled an old interview and used it out of context to make him appear anti-war in "Fahrenheit 9/11." Sgt. Peter Damon, 33, who strongly supports America's invasion of Iraq, said he never agreed to be in the 2004 movie, which trashes President Bush.

"They took the clip because it was a gut-wrenching scene," Damon said yesterday. "They sandwiched it in. [Moore] was using me as ammunition."

"I just want everybody to know what kind of a guy Michael Moore is, and what kind of film this is," said Damon. He has appeared in two films attacking "Fahrenheit" -"Michael Moore Hates America" and "Fahrenhype 9/11."

His image appears seconds after Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) says, "You know, they say they're not leaving any veterans behind, but they're leaving all kinds of veterans behind."

"I'm the most fortunate disabled guy. I've even had a house built for me [by a nonprofit group, Home for Our Troops]."

Particularly outrageous to Damon is the fact that Moore never interviewed him or asked his permission to use the old clip.

"We attempted to resolve the situation amicably with Mr. Moore [for a year] but he refused," he said.

This guy probably has a good case. The usage of his likeness may have been waved, but he was no doubt casted in a "false light".

In relation to this, I strongly suggest seeing the documentary by Michael Wilson, Michael Moore Hates America. I was seriously impressed with it. Wilson paints a very accurate picture of Moore, using Moore's own narrated journey documentary style. Wilson also makes some great statements about documentaries as a journalistic art form. This documentary is very serious about itself, and at several points stops to examine its own intentions and methods.

The scene that features Damon was the most powerful part of Wilson's documentary. I was seriously angered that Moore took advantage of someone who has served with honor and paid a serious price in the process. It's both heartbreaking an inspiring. This guy lost his fucking arms, and he proudly proclaims that his service in the military has improved his life in every way!

Regardless of your interest in Moore, you should see this documentary if you love documentaries. It has not gotten the attention it deserves.

New York Post | Exploited GI sues Michael Moore

And now, a rare instance of Rattle recommending movies. Here are some recommendations for your next movie night:

Penn & Teller enjoy playing jokes on each other. When Penn says on an interview show that he wishes he has someone threatening his life so that he "wouldn't sweat the small stuff," each of them begins a series of pranks on the other to suggest a real threat. Then they find that a real psychopath is interested in them.

Penn and Teller Get Killed will make you laugh, a lot. This 1989 low-budget flick is notable for being the best movie ever to feature Atlantic City.

The next time you and your friends watch a bunch of conspiracy documentaries you pulled off conspiracy central, follow them up with this gem from Troma, the Legend of the Chupacabra:

The Chupacabra (Spanish for "goat sucker")--Is it mere folklore? A government conspiracy? Some weirdo in a latex suit? When the mutilation of her uncle's goats (and her uncle) by the brutal Chupacabra is caught on tape, Maria Esperanza vows to find out despite the superstitious fears of the locals.

The Crazy Rulers of The World from Jon Ronson would work particularly well:

The Crazy Rulers of the World is the extraordinary, never before told story of what happened when chiefs of US intelligence, the army, and the government began believing in very strange things.

The three-part series begins with The Men Who Stare at Goats, which charts the history of a secret US Army unit founded in 1979 - the First Earth Battalion.

Be all that you can be! [FM].

Eloquently weaves the science of global warming with Al Gore’s personal history and lifelong commitment to reversing the effects of global climate change. A longtime advocate for the environment, Gore presents a wide array of facts and information in a thoughtful and compelling way. The film is not a story of despair but rather a rallying cry.

Hopefully this will stir up some serious shit when it is released.

An Inconvenient Truth - Trailer

An Indian movie director said he hopes to persuade Paris Hilton to play the role of Nobel laureate and prospective Catholic Saint, Mother Teresa, in an upcoming film.

"Her features resemble Mother Teresa," director T. Rajeevnath told AFP from the southwestern coastal state of Kerala.

Normally, I couldn't care less about movie casting or Paris Hilton.. And even though I went to Catholic school for 6 years, I'm not religious. But, no. No fucking way. There is no way Paris Hilton should be cast as Mother Teresa. First, the NunBun is stolen, now this. sigh...

Indian director hopes to cast Paris Hilton as Mother Teresa - Yahoo! News

I've covered the progress of this movie on here before.

The directorial debut of Tim Sullivan (Rattle's cousin), 2001 Maniacs, goes on sale March 28th. Check out the trailer.

So far all the reviews have been good. In short: B-Movie horror cinema at its best. Congratulations to Tim! It was a very long slog for him to get this move made and released.

"Refreshingly vulgar, completely un-PC, and, much like the original, an expected excuse for extremely sadistic humor and gore, 2001 MANIACS has all the elements of a good time and still raises a dialogue among viewers that not many have had the balls to address in horror, or filmmaking in general, since the 70's. You'll squirm, screech and then writhe with laughter." - Shane French, FANGORIA

A re-imagining of HG Lewis' drive-in cult classic, 2001 MANIACS keeps tongue firmly in cheek as it tells the twisted tale of the small Southern town of Pleasant Valley, brought low during the Civil War by the North, now doomed to eternally extracting bloody revenge on unsuspecting Northern travelers.

2001 Maniacs now available for pre-order on Amazon