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'I Don't Do Carrots'

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'I Don't Do Carrots'
Topic: Miscellaneous 5:10 pm EDT, Jun  2, 2007

Somehow I missed this at the time.

The use of the transitive, action-packed verb do has a long history of being followed by a direct object with no intervening article like a or the.

Its vogue began, I think, early in the past century with the question to a prospective domestic employee: "Do you do windows?"

The narcotics lingo of the 1960s advanced the usage: Addicts would do acid, do speed, do drugs; no native speaker would say "do the drugs." But when Hollywood agents and producers began replacing have with do in "Let's do lunch," a backlash set in; it was ridiculed as jargon.

Undersecretary of State John Bolton brushed aside a query about a carrot-and-stick approach to Iran with a subtle "I don't do carrots."

What makes this web of reactionary ideologues a menace to the world is that they believe complex, historic problems have simple, instant, military solutions.

Democrats have been recycling Bolton quotes from his speeches and writings over the years in an attempt to portray him as a unilateralist hostile even to the existence of the world body.

In July 2003, he condemned North Korea's Kim Jong-il for living like royalty, while for millions of his people, life was a "hellish nightmare". Pyongyang was incensed, labelling him "human scum" and refusing to continue negotiating with him.

... and for a few variations on the theme ...

"I don't do mending!" She said, "Asking a quilter to do mending is like asking Picasso to paint your garage."

"Females - I can't take much of them. That's why I have a lot more male friends, because females are very bitchy, and I can't do bitchy."

"I don't do dumps. I've done a Dumpster or two, but I don't do dumps."

I don't do rats. Snakes, yes; spiders, if I have to; big ugly men with guns, only in emergencies, but not rats, not ever.

I don't do it as much as I used to. You come in — the fantasy is that you wear medical clothing and it's an emergency situation — but you know a lot of times, people bring in many, many people ...

Alice: I don't do Jersey!
Bob: You're missing lots of great food. Really. A true Crumb Tracker never fears crossing the river.



 
 
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