Database management systems are 20 years out of date and should be completely rewritten to reflect modern use of computers.

Oracle and SQL Server come from an age when online transaction processing dominated and required techniques such as multi-threading and transaction locking.

Persistent storage is unnecessary ...

Abandon SQL; use Ruby.

Note that the paper under review here is actually from last September. It has become "news" again because of the authors' recent criticism of Google (and MapReduce, specifically).

Get me rewrite!