] We say, Hell yeah, beer is food! In fact, it should be
] considered one of the major food groups. Here are some
] reasons why:

Is Beer Food? | Beer Article [ Beer Advocate ]

] Dockers recently came out with a new brand of pants, the
] Go Khakis, which promise to keep your legs stain-free
] using revolutionary nanotechnology.
]
] We couldn't help thinking that Dockers might be using the
] word "nanotechnology" more for marketing muscle than for
] true scientific purposes, so we called its customer
] service line to ask a few pointed questions. Here's a
] slice of the conversation.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!

CNN.com - Little robots in your pants - Jul. 18, 2003

Harry Shearer, of Simpsons fame, has a radio program called Le Show. This past Sunday's show features an amusing story about Peter Jennings becoming a US citizen (while still retaining his Canadian citizenship.)

Listen to the show in streaming RealMedia at the URL here. The story on Peter Jennings starts around 18 minutes 40 seconds into the show. The story runs about four minutes.

Peter Jennings, Canadian, on Harry Shearer's Le Show [Real]

] As a Creation Scientist, one of my greatest duties that I
] take great pleasure in is introducing the works of the
] Lord to the young generation. The sparkle of wonderment
] that fills their eyes in knowing the creative power of
] God fills my heart with the Lord's divine Love. It
] however saddens me greatly that the proponents of
] Evolutionism have corrupted this true purpose of science
] and are instead using it as a propaganda tool to spread
] Secularism. But what is education for if not to fight
] against ignorance such as that? Our children are the
] future face of Science and we must teach them to
] recognize the truth of the Word of the Lord so as to
] break the cycle of Evolutionism dogma that is paralyzing
] scientific development and making higher education a
] dumping ground for the excesses of materialistic
] philosophies.

You must scroll down and read the winners. My personal favorite: the 2nd place winner in the middle school division, for using physics to explain why god designed women to be homemakers. Religion just scares the shit out of me sometimes. The sad thing is, even though I put this under humor, its REAL!!!

OBJECTIVE: Creation Education: Creation Science Fair 2001

w00t!

Lego Rave

hehehehe

pilots_01

] For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year
] than that of Valentine's Day. While a tiny fraction of
] the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and
] roses, poetry and song- the vast majority of us can
] anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and
] grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours
] like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear's
] romantic indignities, today's loneliness, and the
] unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited
] upon us repeatedly in the years to come.
]
] When cruelty and holidays collide, the weak-willed find
] solace in self-pity and comfort foods. And now, Despair
] Inc. is pleased to announce that we've combined BOTH into
] a radical new offering.
]
] Introducing "BitterSweets(tm)". The Valentine's Candy for
] the Rest of Us.

THis is just great:) MuHAHAHAHAHAHA

BitterSweets

] The Fish is BACK!, We've found a shipper who will handle
] it now! ... Maybe they cheated on you...maybe they ran
] over your cat... maybe they were just born that way! When
] "Thank You" cards won't do the trick, we've got you
] covered. Don't just say it, say it like you mean it, with
] one of the disgusting products from senddeadfish.com.
] We will wrap and ship a smelly rotting fish, wilting
] flowers or a rank bag of crap straight to your
] "intended's" door step. Add a comment card that says it
] all and leave them speechless!

hehehehehehehehehehehe

Welcome To Send Dead Fish

Children's Books That Will Never Be Published:

"You Are Different and That's Bad"
"Dad's New Wife Timothy"
"Pop! Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games"
"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets"
"The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad"
"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
"Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom's Purse"
"The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy"
"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"
"How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School"
"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of
North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Become Friends"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Bi-Curious George"

] According to the Red Book of Westmarch,
] In Middle-earth, Marie Kimberly Cross was a
] Intelligent Eorling

Well, I guess its better then being an Idiotic Eorling

The Barrow-Downs: Middle-Earth Name Generator