] "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are
] we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways
] to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Thanks for confirming what a lot of us have thought all along. Moron.

Yahoo! News - New 'Bushism' Born at Bill Signing

] war may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how
] necessary, it is always evil, never a good. We will not
] learn how to live together in peace by killing each
] other's children.

This isn't a new quote, but it's one of the best ones I've seen.

CNN.com - Carter Nobel Peace Prize speech - Dec. 10, 2002

] The FBI decided to pass along the threat information but
] warned that it was considered unsubstantiated and
] uncorroborated, said the official, who spoke only on
] condition of anonymity.

Is this the "throw a dart at a map and call up those guys" method of fighting terrorism? Sure seems like it.

Yahoo! News - FBI Issues Terror Warning for Calif., N.M.

] Three weeks of data from the early months of 2001 showed
] more than ten individual giant waves around the globe of
] over 80 feet in height.
]
]
] Previously, ESA said, scientists believed that such large
] waves occurred only once every 10,000 years.

Well they got that wrong, and HOLY CRAP!

Yahoo! News - Ship-Sinking Monster Waves Are Widespread-ESA

] As for the robots, they function like the giant insects
] in "Starship Troopers," as video game targets. You can't
] even be mad at them, since they're only programs.
] Although, come to think of it, you can be mad at
] programs; Microsoft Word has inspired me to rage far
] beyond anything these robots engender.

Going to a movie for free because you're a reviewer? Cool.
Having to sit through crap, but maybe a good popcorn movie? Ok
Getting to slam Microsoft in a movie review? Priceless.

There's some things money can't buy, for everything else, I accept cash.

I, ROBOT / ** (PG-13)

] "This is truly a dumbing-down of the term 'disease.' This
] is the only disease that I'm familiar with that you can
] solve by regularly taking long walks and keeping your
] mouth shut," said Rick Berman, executive director of the
] Center for Consumer Freedom, a food-industry-funded
] advocacy group.

I think this quote gets the "I ain't got no tact" award of the week.

Yahoo! News - Medicare Changes Policy on Obesity

] "Bush has created more harm to this country's standing
] and security than any president in history," Trudeau
] said. "What a shame the world has to suffer the
] consequences of Dubya not getting enough approval from
] Dad."

Ouch!

Yahoo! News - 'Doonesbury' Artist Trudeau Skewers Bush

] The report said that despite a much-advertised expanded
] surveillance program the USDA was not testing adult
] cattle that died on the farm and had failed to test
] hundreds of cattle condemned due to possible central
] nervous system disorder -- a symptom of mad cow disease
] and many other diseases.

Let's check just the healthy cows, yeah... See? No mad cow here!

Our meat is safe!

] The Bush administration's five-year, $15 billion plan for
] worldwide HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment is modeled
] after a program in Uganda, which stresses abstinence,
] monogamy and condom use.

That's nice. Just say no didn't work here, but we think it'll work everywhere? Thanks guys, it appears anal sex is unsafe but shoving your whole head in is just fine.

Yahoo! News - France Accuses America Over HIV Drugs

] The U.S. military has launched a new operation in
] Afghanistan (news - web sites) involving thousands of
] troops to protect the upcoming presidential election, the
] top American commander said Tuesday.

We're so worried about problems that we're looking at postponing our own elections. What the hell makes us think we can protect them in a place run by the random regional warlord?

U.S. Seeks to Protect Afghan Elections