] SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) -- A black bear was found
] passed out at a campground in Washington state recently
] after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a
] campground worker said on Wednesday.
]
] "We noticed a bear sleeping on the common lawn and
] wondered what was going on until we discovered that there
] were a lot of beer cans lying around," said Lisa Broxson,
] a worker at the Baker Lake Resort, 80 miles (129 km)
] northeast of Seattle.
]
] The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years
] old, broke into campers' coolers and, using his claws and
] teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds.
]
] It turns out the bear was a bit of a beer sophisticate.
] He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to
] Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his
] drinking binge.
]
] Wildlife agents chased the bear away, but it returned the
] next day, said Broxson.
]
] They set a trap using as bait some doughnuts, honey and
] two cans of Rainier Beer. It worked, and the bear was
] captured for relocation.

[ That is some funny shit. A little sad, but funny. -k]

Nice to see even bears think Busch sucks.

Bear guzzles 36 beers, passes out at campground

] More than half of Americans, 54 percent, continue to
] believe Iraq (news - web sites) had weapons of mass
] destruction or a program to develop them before the
] United States invaded last year, according to a poll
] released Friday.

I don't think this is what PT Barnum was thinking about when he said there's a sucker born every minute. Or, isn't national policy important enough not to base it on fooling the suckers?

Yahoo! News - Poll: Many Still Link Iraq With WMD

] Kennedy said he was stopped at airports in Washington,
] D.C., and Boston three times in March. Airline agents
] told him he would not be sold a ticket because his name
] was on a list.
]
]
] When he asked the agent why, he was told, "We can't tell
] you."

I think as far as the Bushies are concerned, if Teddy Kennedy can't get on an airplane, that means the system is working.

Yahoo! News - Error Puts Kennedy on Airline No-Fly List

] Cash-strapped United Airlines said in a bankruptcy court
] filing Thursday that it "likely" will be necessary to
] terminate and replace its employee pension plans.

Just out of curiousity, I wonder what the top brass at United is paying themselves...

Yahoo! News - United Likely to Terminate Pension Plans

] U.S. forces stormed a Najaf house belonging to a radical
] Shiite cleric, who has led a deadly uprising against
] coalition and Iraqi troops for more than a week, as
] American and Iraqi soldiers launched a major assault
] Thursday on his militiamen.

I believe the phrase that they're looking for here is "Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?"

Yahoo! News - U.S. Forces Storm Shiite Cleric's House

] President Bush (news - web sites) said on Tuesday that
] abolishing the U.S. income tax system and replacing it
] with a national sales tax was an idea worth considering.

Why not just headline this, "Bush Says Fuck the Poor"

Yahoo! News - Bush Says National Sales Tax Worth Considering

] U.S. District Judge Thelton Henderson found that Commerce
] Secretary Donald Evans not only failed to conduct the
] scientific research required to relax existing
] tuna-labeling laws, but engaged in "a pattern of delay
] and inattention" to build support for his position.

I'm really glad we have all these "activist" judges running around telling the government to go screw. They're not making rules, they're telling the Bushies that the rules the Bushies want to rescind are there to stay.

Yahoo! News - U.S. Barred From Weakening Dolphin Rules

] What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st
] century, and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes
] and the federal and the state governments?
]
]
] THE PRESIDENT: Tribal sovereignty means that, it's
] sovereign. You're a -- you've been given sovereignty, and
] you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And, therefore, the
] relationship between the federal government and tribes is
] one between sovereign entities.
]
]
] Now, the federal government has got a responsibility on
] matters like education and security to help, and health
] care. And it's a solemn duty. And from this perspective,
] we must continue to uphold that duty. I think that one of
] the most promising areas of all is to help with economic
] development. And that means helping people understand
] what it means to start a business. That's why the Small
] Business Administration has increased loans. It means,
] obviously, encouraging capital flows. But none of that
] will happen unless the education systems flourish and are
] strong, and that's why I told you we've spent $1.1
] billion in the reconstruction of Native American schools.

Okay, two points here. One is, what the hell did he say in the first part about sovereignty? I'm not sure that makes any sense at all (and if you listen to the audio available at http://64.62.196.98/docs/bushsovereignty080604.mp3 it sounds even worse than the inanity in the White House text). And of course two, what the hell does the second part have to do with the first at all? Tribal Sovereignty=Small Business? Huh?

I think we've deprived Crawford of their village idiot quite long enough.

President's Remarks to the Unity Journalists of Color Convention

] The lone Justice lawyer sent from Washington to help told
] his Detroit colleagues "he had no intention of
] participating in the trial" and refused to assist when an
] urgent issue arose involving a witness and the State
] Department, the Detroit office wrote.
]
]
] The Washington lawyer "spent the same 10 (trial) weeks in
] a hotel at taxpayers' expense when he was not playing
] basketball in the evenings," the memo stated.

Gotta love this one. The White House holds up as an example of what a fine job they're doing in the "War on Terror" and their example is a case that it appears the Justice Department did everything possible to screw. Just another indication of the sort of quality moves I've come to expect from the shrub administration.

AP: Superiors Hindered Terror Prosecutors

The following is Section 1 of the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution.

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Now, I can understand why some people, especially religious groups are opposed to the idea of gay marriage. I think they're wrong, but that's not the point of this. Here in the rather questionable state of Missouri, they just passed a marriage definition into the state constitution and in doing so, have created a consequece I don't think they ever considered.

Under the US Constitution, no one can make a law (in this case amandment to the state constitution) that abridges the privileges of any citizen. Because the government recognizes marriage, the recent action means gay people no longer are eligible for it. Well they are, but we'll deal with part 2 of this mess in a minute. Part 1 is, they can't marry the people they wish to marry. Under that standard, the government now has two options. They can either strike down the state amendment, restoring the primacy of federal rule, or, they have a second option, and this gets even more convoluted, they can strike marriage as something no longer recognized by the government.

There's also a third option which is part 2 of this and should be much much more entertaining, which is of course the sham marriage, but that's not really an option.

So why is one of the first two ideas what will have to happen? Well, it says right there in the "bible of government" that everybody is equal under the law, as eligible for any any right or privilege they give as anyone else. Now they can place some sorts of restrictions on these, and have. You have to be a certain age to get a driver's license and if you do certain things, they can take it away, but everyone is eligible until they do something to make themself ineligible. If you follow the rules, everyone can do everything under the law.

Not anymore.

So, what happens now is anyone's guess. The only two options are strike the rule, or abolish government recognized marriage. Marriage is a mostly religious institution anyway, so maybe what the step is, government can only recognize civil unions, and leave marriage to the church. (The IRS would go nuts trying to fit that on a 1040, but no one likes the IRS anyway) I don't think that solution makes anyone very happy because it means changes for all kinds of people. Insurance companies would be forced to retool all their rules because just like the government, companies can't discriminate on religious grounds (which marriage would now be) and states would not be able to do both marriages and civil unions because that falls into the category of "separate but equal" which was struck down under Brown v Board of Education.

I would deeply like to thank the current administration for this pile of crap. They've chosen to make screwing over hate and discrimination a centerpiece of American daily life and are doing their best to make it the law.