Horrors! They don't let in children? How awful!

Is it really any wonder this is where John Ashcroft comes from?

Yahoo! News - City Officials Say Haunted House Rated X

] The mother of a man who killed three co-workers before
] shooting himself in a workplace rampage has asked the
] company to compensate her for her son's death because it
] occurred at work,

Huh? Gee, Mrs. Jones, Your son shot himself at work, therefore we should pay death damages to you because HE KILLED HIMSELF. Oh, and he KILLED THE PEOPLE HE WORKED WITH.

To borrow something from a recent FCC ruling, she's out of her fucking mind.

Leaps of Logic That Need a Parachute...

] "This cloying by various television reporters for the
] right to interview the slut du jour just becomes kind of
] a silly joke, something out of `Saturday Night Live (news
] - Y! TV),'" Safer said at a panel discussion arranged by
] the National Television Academy.

Damn Morley, tell us how you REALLY feel! LOL!

Yahoo! News - '60 Minutes' Stars Rip Celeb Interviews

Gee, this is one hell of an offer. "Guys? We kinda screwed this one up. Want to jump in here so we can get our guys out of the way of these bullets and get your guys in the way of them?"

I can just see other countries lining up for this one.

Yahoo! News - U.S. Offers to Share Iraq Role With U.N.

"I can modify code, but I'm an idiot! Please arrest me!" --Message found in latest virus.

] Parson apparently took few steps to disguise his
] identity. As a byproduct of each infection, every
] victim's computer sent signals back to the "t33kid.com"
] Web site that Parson had registered in his own name,
] listing his home address. The computer bug also included
] an infecting file called "teekids.exe" that experts
] quickly associated with Parson's Web site: Hackers
] routinely substitute "3" for the letter "e" in their
] online aliases.

Also of note in this article, this guy may have cost Microsoft 5-10 million. Well, good. Maybe their next OS won't ship with SEVENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND KNOWN HOLES SO FAR. Jerk offs.

Yahoo! News - Accused Web Attacker Under House Arrest

This is one of the signs of the Apocalypse right?

I'm doing it for... ummm...

] Fox News Network is suing humor writer Al Franken for
] trademark infringement over the phrase "fair and
] balanced"

I had no idea you could trademark a cliche. Can I trademark, "It's the last place you look," and then sue anyone else who prints it?

Yahoo! News - Fox Sues Humor Writer for Using 'Signature' Slogan

] The White House has acknowledged that it was a mistake to
] have included the uranium allegation in the State of the
] Union address. But an examination of how it originated,
] how it was repeated in January and by whom suggests that
] the administration was determined to keep the idea before
] the public as it built its case for war, even though the
] claim had been excised from a presidential speech the
] previous October through the direct intervention of CIA
] Director George J. Tenet.

I do so love the fact that these guys think it is ok to lie so we can send a few hundred of our guys halfway around the planet to get killed. One more reason Shrub isn't fit to carry his dad's jockstrap.

Yahoo! News - Bush Team Kept Airing Iraq Allegation

This is too funny. The guy makes a political statement (like we haven't been slamming the frogs for the last year) and these people have the balls to call him a hypoocrite? I especially love the hate mail he's been getting.

Axis of Weasels

] President Bush (news - web sites) ordered U.S. troops
] into position off the coast of Liberia (news - web sites)
] Friday to support the arrival of a West African
] peacekeeping force, as renewed violence in the capital
] brought despairing pleas for American help.

So we've sent ships there that may or may not have troops. What are they going to do? Sail in little circles taunting these people? And these people (unlike the Iraqis) really DO want us there!

Yahoo! News - American Troops Sent to Liberia's Coast