I'm not sure how to describe this... It's safe for work but...

First Draft - Hellbound

In addition, the alligators far outperformed their inebriated human counterparts in the following areas: lunging, biting, crushing, dismembering, and swallowing.

Sometimes the Onion misses the target. Sometimes...

Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Time lapse radar track of FedEx aircraft arriving into the Memphis hub during area thunderstorms.

It's like watching ants race for the hole before it closes. Pretty cool.

Airline Pilot Central - FedEx arrivals during Thunderstorms

An executive at a heart disease charitable foundation who embezzled close to a quarter of a million dollars over two years to pay a dominatrix to beat him was sentenced Tuesday to two to six years in prison.

First, this is just sad, pathetic and funny all at the same time. Sad in the sense that the guy stole to do it, pathetic in the fact that he ripped of a charity to do so and funny in the sense that now he gets to go to jail where he can expect to be beaten on a daily basis for being such a moron.

Second, does the picture have anything to do with the subject at all???

Charity exec who stole to pay dominatrix gets jail - Yahoo! News

"We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us," the eulogy concludes. "We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains."

And now for another stab at Scientology...

AOL News - Chef Gets Big Send-Off on 'South Park'

The inventor of ctrl-alt-delete explains how it happened... and then how it became famous... Short, nice story, then ZING!

The Story of Ctrl Alt Delete - Google Video

Ever get the feeling designers sometimes do things just to see if anyone is paying attention?

Jeremy Scott - Jeremy Scott - Fall 2006 Collection

Nap0leon3: itta waz de talk of de party
Nap0leon3: watta dis dood whittington kno?

Kickass43: whittington?
Kickass43: kno?

Nap0leon3: c
Nap0leon3: surely sumthing vry important
Nap0leon3: 4 ur vice-president 2 pop him

These are still a riot. LOL

The Secret Presidential IMs: Why Cheney Popped That Dude--A Luv Story | The Huffington Post

THE COMPLETE LIST OF MAD Magazine's 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2005:

1. Hurricane Katrina: The Bush League Response
Shattering his old record for totally ignoring a national disaster (8 minutes of slacking following the 9/11 attacks), President Bush set a new standard this year for utter cluelessness. As Katrina grew to a class five hurricane and smashed the Gulf Coast, leaving New Orleans underwater and thousands stranded and suffering, Dubya spent his time clearing brush, presenting a birthday cake to John McCain, strumming a guitar at a GOP fundraiser, and sleeping. By the time he apologized to the nation two weeks later, it was painfully clear that the President had a lot in common with the citizens of New Orleans: he, too, was in way over his head.

Brownie you're doin a heck of a job! What me worry?

MAD Magazine, the Dumb List

Dubithy: No, Mummy Lar... it wasn't the DT's... this was a real, truly filthy place. But I remember one of the bitches was pretty nice

Politics? Humor? Either way...

Daily Kos: State of the Nation