Don't you just hate when some upstart comes along and threatens your best-laid plans? We were struck by how well one of Reese Witherspoon's monologues from the film Election fits the narrative of Campaign 2008.nullnull

There's video with this one! Funny, with a large dose of OW!

Slate V - Hillary's Inner Tracy Flick

Phil's handlers, John Griffiths and Ben Hughes, removed him from his stump-shaped shelter on a stage in Punxsutawney at 7:27 a.m. local time and proclaimed he saw his shadow. The forecast elicited some boos from the crowd of about 30,000 gathered to await the 122nd annual weather prediction.

Damn you you overgrown gopher!

6 More Weeks!

His portrait was hung Wednesday at the Smithsonian Institution's National Portrait Gallery in Washington for a six-week showing in what the museum considers an "appropriate place" _ right between the bathrooms near the "America's Presidents" exhibit.

That's brilliant!

Colbert Portrait Hangs at Smithsonian

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

Ah The Onion...

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Here's another question to ask: does the Minneapolis police force look around its members for officers they think might be attractive to gay men? Or do they specifically search out recruits who would make good undercover "twinks," "bears," and "silver foxes"?

There's an actual point in her column, but this was too good to pass up.

Arianna Huffington: In the Age of Terror, Isn't Busting Toe-Tappers an Insane Use of Our Law Enforcement Resources? - Politics on The Huffington Post

My committee of couch potatoes decided I should play it cool, with just a simple handshake and introduction. This seemed like a lackluster idea, but acknowledging my own lack of expertise, I offered the suggestion up to Sandy. She seemed a little flat on the concept, so I whipped out my own backup idea: When I met my date, I would hand him the remote control to my vibrating underpants. Sandy paused, then burst out with "I would fucking LOVE you if you did that!"

Something I stumbled over that made me laugh.

REALITY REJECT - Portland Mercury

Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran," FOX News has learned.

Okay, question number one, why did this get any play at all (oh wait, it's fox, duh)? Question two, are they sure this really isn't from The Onion?

FOXNews.com - South Carolina Inmate Hits Michael Vick With '$63,000,000,000 Billion Dollar' Lawsuit Alleging Al Qaeda Ties - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

But the salon never opened. Douthitt couldn't get the proper permits and neighbors complained that they didn't want that type of business in their neighborhood.

"Since it's been going through the courts, since it's been going through a bunch of stupidity, he's taking it out on the neighborhood," Herbst said.

Douthitt said he feels railroaded by both the city and his neighborhood. He said he was trying to open a legitimate business and he wasn't allowed. He said the displays are his way of protesting.

Ah, comedy!

Man Uses Mannequins In Pornographic Protest Against City - News Story - WFTV Orlando

"Of course, times were different. To be honest, I was born at an early age. Things are much more confiscated now. It seems like a nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. But let me tell you, if the world was perfect, it wouldn't be. Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Ain't nobody out there anymore who mangles 'em like Yogi.

STLtoday - Sports - Columnists

Is that spark missing in your married life? Or is the constant travelling taking its toll on your love life. Having a long distance relationship but missing the physical aspect of it? Fear not, the Bluetooth Vibrator is here.

I've always thought the killer app for USB would be the USB vibrator, but maybe it works for SMS too.

(marginally safe for work)

The toy - Bluetooth vibrator based on SMS - Phoneyworld.com