Bakri is a Muslim preacher of hate who wants all women to be covered from head to toe.

His daughter loves partying, happily poses for raunchy topless photos and is described by a lover as “very adventurous in bed”.

"I'll take "Depraved Western Culture" for $400 Alex."
"Sorry, she says it'll be a bit more for the "depraved" part."

LOL

Poles apart | The Sun |News

"I miss Michael every single day, but at least he can finally rest now," said Sheila Haige, who watched as insurance rates ate away at her husband over time. "What Michael went through, the humiliating forms, the invasive background checks, the complete loss of dignity and hope—I wouldn't wish that kind of torture on anyone."

I'm not sure if this is satire or reportage. It's just that close.

Man Succumbs To 7-Year Battle With Health Insurance | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Nils Olav already has medals for good conduct and long service. He made honorary colonel-in-chief of the elite Norwegian King's Guard in 2005. And on Friday he was knighted.

Not bad for a 3-foot tall penguin — actually, three of them.

King penguin knighted by Norway - Animal weirdness- msnbc.com

Every year, after the AL manager addresses his team, Ichiro bursts from his locker, a bundle of kinetic energy, and proceeds, in English, to disparage the National League with an H-bomb of F-bombs, stunning first-timers who had no idea Ichiro speaks the queen’s language fluently and making returnees happy that they had played well enough to see the pep talk again.

Now this, I'd like to see, probably more than the game.

Update! Ichiro 8! National League 0!

Ichiro's speech to All-Stars revealed - MLB - Yahoo! Sports

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

Jillian Fox, spokeswoman for LSGmodels.com, one of the sites reporting figures to AIMRCo, added, "In a June 15, 2008 survey to our members, thirty two percent of respondents referenced the recent stimulus package as part of their decision to either become a new member, or renew an existing membership."

Well, I guess they named their package correctly...

President Bush Boosts Porn Industry With Economic Stimulus Plan

An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking).

Safe sex, aside from the "he's dead" part. If this were less common it might be Darwin worthy, but the punchline is he graduated from Liberty University and later worked for the late Jerry Falwell. A former colleague at the school remembered him as well.

Dead Reverend's Rubber Fetish - October 8, 2007

The 77-year-old, who shot to fame as Captain Kirk in the original 1960s TV show, insists he couldn't enjoy flings with the series' most devoted followers because he was so turned off by their bizarre bedroom behaviour.

Damn... Didn't see that one coming.

WILLIAM SHATNER - SHATNER HATED BEDDING STAR TREK FANS

Ultimately Peekaboo and AT New Media want to do for pole dancing what ‘Guitar Hero‘ did for rock n roll!

Get a bunch of hacks who think they have an idea about how to play guitar, but actually suck, to spend hideous amounts of money? That part is fine, I guess, people want to be the rock star, but who aspires to being a stripper?

MTV Multiplayer » Wii Pole Dancing Game Intended For Fitness, Fun For Men And Women

Giant pandas are known to be sexually inactive, but the new measure follows several other initiatives taken to try and encourage breeding, including panda pornography.

Panda... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

China's pandas in new rigorous 'sexercise' programme: report - Yahoo! News

While you would think this might be an isolated incident for this part of upstate New York, in 2005, Sandra Geisel, a teacher at Christian Brothers Academy in nearby Albany, “did it” with a 16-year old in the press box of the football stadium (thereby fulfilling several male fantasies at once.)

Sandra Geisel

Geisel did her time and is classified as a Level 1 sex offender in the state of New York (And a Level 10 MILF IMHO). However, be careful is you want a ride home because she got busted for DWI AFTER she fulfilled her 16 year old student’s wildest fantasies. Her lawyer once claimed that she couldn’t have raped the 16 year old because she was too drunk to giver her consent when it happened. (Now, THAT’S a lawyer.)

Oh the huma... hilarity!

New Education Policy?