] "If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your
] information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron
] than they are.

[ That's a fair statement, but to say that music and politics can't be joined I guess just proves his point about rockers being morons... maybe he was just self projecting.

I mean, he's talking about Bruce fucking Springsteen, here! I've heard one or two of the Boss' songs and, well, I'm pretty sure they were about politics, or at least about social conciousness. He wrote "Born in the USA" for gods sake... I think he's into politics, just a little. Is Alice Cooper saying that Springsteen sucks? He better not tour in New Jersey anymore.

I'm not gonna say there's no place for vapid, content-free music designed for pure entertainment (a la Alice Cooper), but most of the best stuff has some inherent meaning about life, relationships, culture, society, etc. etc. Not to mention Rock has a long history of political activism. It's not the opposite of politics... if anything, you might say it's anti-authority, or rebellious, but that's hardly inconsistent with having an opinion.

Anyway, Alice Cooper can shut it, mostly... that's pretty much how I've always felt about him talking, or singing. -k]

Alice slams anti-Bush rockers

This Week's Onion Must-Read

WASHINGTON, DC—After more than 30 years spent hiding in the Los Angeles underground as wanted criminals, the members of the crack commando unit Alpha Team, commonly known as the A-Team, were cleared of all charges brought against them by the U.S. military, an army official announced Monday.

"In 1972, we arrested the members of the A-Team for a crime they swore they didn't commit," Gen. Stephen Lupo said. "They broke out of our maximum-security stockade, and from that moment forth, I thought of nothing but their recapture. However, a recent audit of their file has revealed that the arrest of the Alpha Force members was made in error. The U.S. military deeply regrets the mistake."

According to Lupo, the A-Team members' exoneration will occur before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces on Aug. 24.

Just hours after Lupo's announcement was made, Cpt. H.M. "Howlin' Mad" Murdock, the A-Team's pilot, resurfaced to speak with journalist Amy Allen, who often reported on the mercenaries' charitable acts.

"For decades, we've been forced to live in the shadows," Murdock said. "Somehow, we always found a way to help people who had nowhere else to turn, but we operated under the constant threat of recapture. Finally, the nightmare is over."

Onion | US Military Clears A-Team of all charges

The new Iraq flag, as per the Onion.

[ wow. especially about the two stripes. so, so wrong... -k]

The Onion | Infograph

BAGHDAD—As the Coalition Provisional Authority prepares to hand power over to an Iraqi-led interim government on June 30, CPA administrator L. Paul Bremer publicly touted the success of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
As the Coalition's rule draws to a close, the numbers show that we have an awful lot to be proud of," Bremer said Tuesday. "As anyone who's taken a minute and actually looked at the figures can tell you, the vast majority of Iraqis are still alive—as many as 99 percent. While 10,000 or so Iraqi civilians have been killed, pretty much everyone is not dead.
According to U.S. Department of Defense statistics, of the approximately 24 million Iraqis who were not killed, nearly all are not in a military prison. Bremer said "a good number" of those Iraqis who are in jail have been charged with a crime, and most of them have enjoyed a prison stay free of guard-dog attacks, low-watt electrocutions, and sexual humiliation.

Onion | Coalition: Majority of Iraqis still alive.

] "We are not talking retarded people here," the clinic
] spokesman said. The two "were simply unaware, after eight
] years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary
] to procreate."

[ Ok, how sheltered do you need to be to miss out on this knowledge. I mean, on top of that, wouldn't biology... you know, instinct, take over at some point. I guess they sleep in separate beds and don't talk about things like desire or certain physical alterations that may accompany it? Some kinda marriage.

Fuck it, I think the clinician is wrong... these people *are* retarded... in the strictest sense of the word. Their stupid families retarded them by not telling them things. So much so that some seriously fundamental human bahaviors were totally blocked. If I were them, i'd be on the phone with mom and dad right now like "HEY, WHAT THE FUCK!?"

I'm holding back the rant I want to make, but suffice it to say that i don't approve of fundamentalist bullshit or 'protecting' kids by telling them nothing, ever. This would be funny if it wasn't so sad. -k]

FOXNews.com - German Couple Finds Out Stork Isn't Real

] Personally, I think it looks like a $1200 shower curtain, but
] what do I know about this. We tried taking pictures of this
] lovely white garment but it didn’t look right on the hanger as
] you can see, so my sister says, "You need a model." Well, quite
] frankly my sister isn’t exactly small, (like a size 12 is?) so
] she wouldn’t pose for the picture. Seeing as I have sworn off
] women for the time being and I ain’t friends with any, it left me
] holding the bag. I took the liberty of blacking out my face -
] not to protect the ex-wife but to protect me from my bar buddies
] and co-workers finding out about it. I would never live it
] down. Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck
] hole, but then I figured she got her Texas cheerleader hair
] through there I could get my head in it. Though, after looking
] at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat.

[ Awesome! -k]

eBay - Divorced Man Models ex-Wife's Wedding Dress

This is a video of a dog that can skateboard. Yes, you read that right. Skateboard.

Ahem.. Let me make one of those predictions that I make all the time, and tend to be right. Either that, or they tend to be forgotten. But whatever, I make them all the time and I only seem to get called on them when they are right.

Either via David Lettermen's stupid pet tricks, or some random television advertisement, America will be exposed to this dog. Maybe this Windows Media file will be the vector. It doesn't matter. America will love this dog. As another example of "asking for techno" we will be pounded over the head with stuff involving this dog until we want to see it hung in our respective local town squares.

Just a hunch.

(... this is pretty neat.)

[ That dog kicks total ass. -k]

Skateboarding Dog - Future Animal Star we will eventually be sick of

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS
DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS
DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS
DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

[ Awesome! -k]

DomoKun Developers Video [WMV]

[ Other countries have some crazy comercials... -k]

Ford SportKa

Flash animation. Parody of "Tom Saywer" by the band Rush, lampooning Limbuaghs drug addiction with actual hypocritical quotes from the man himself. Takea a while to load, but its worth it! -LB

[ Awesome. Fucking slam that fucking hypocrisy right in Rush's fat, rightwing, hateful face. -k]

Rush Limbaugh parody