| |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
10:06 am EDT, Aug 3, 2004 |
Skinner: Oh oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms. Willie: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya?! That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself! Lisa the Vegetarian |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
12:33 am EDT, Jun 17, 2004 |
The fourth-season opener finds Bart and Lisa headed for six fun-filled weeks at Kamp Krusty, the brochure having failed to mention counselor-thugs, imitation gruel, slave labor and no Krusty. ... The next morning, Lisa and several other kids in their bathing costumes stand at the edge of a pier, looking down at a ragged canoe.
Lisa: Uh, are you sure that's safe?
Kearny: Well it ain't gettin' any safer. Safe at Kamp Krusty |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
6:58 pm EDT, Apr 11, 2004 |
Marge: But all I did was tell the truth! Lionel: Of course you did. But there's ... [face becomes unfriendly, voice deepens] the truth [shakes head, "no"], and [voice becomes chirpy, smiles] the truth [nods head, "yes"]! Lionel: Let me show you. The Truth |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
6:55 pm EDT, Apr 11, 2004 |
Marge: I'd really like to give it a try! Homer: I don't know, Marge, trying is the first step towards failure. Trying and Failure |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
4:58 pm EST, Apr 3, 2004 |
Lisa: "Thank you. I know this giant check is very important to everyone here, but ... what's even more important is the truth." [everyone looks confused, and Skinner makes "cut" guesture] Lisa: "Because, after all, education is the search for truth." Skinner: "No, no it isn't. Don't listen to her. She's out of her mind!" "Is there any Rice in a Clarke bar?" asked George. "No, that's the Nestle Crunch bar," replied Dick. "What we do know is that the Clarke bar contains traces of cocoa and molasses. Mostly, though, it's just nuts." But George persisted. "I know, I know, but ... see if Rice is involved. Just look. I want to know any shred." Lisa Gets An 'A' |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
4:02 pm EST, Apr 3, 2004 |
"It's a write-off for them."
"How is it a write-off?"
"They just write it off."
"Write it off what?"
"Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything."
"You don't even know what a write-off is."
"Do you?"
"No, I don't."
"But they do. And they're the ones writing it off."
"I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back." |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
2:35 am EST, Mar 24, 2004 |
Frink: "Now that I have your attention, we have some exciting new research from young Lisa Simpson. Let's bring her out and pay attention." Scientist #1: "She's just a little girl!" Scientist #2: "Let's not listen!" Introducing Lisa |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
12:23 am EST, Mar 24, 2004 |
Announcer: "Krusty the Klown is brought to you by the new Gamestation 256. It's slightly faster ... to the MAX!" Bart: 256? Oh, and I'm stuck with this useless 252? (Bart kicks 252 into fireplace; 252 begins to melt.) 252: Don't destroy me! I can still make you happy ... to the MAX! Gamestation 256 |
|
Everybody Loves Average Americans |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
9:06 am EST, Mar 11, 2004 |
"It's all about you, Average Americans." "Where do you get off listening to me?" Average Americans are the new Raymond. |
|
|
|---|
| Topic: TV |
2:37 pm EST, Mar 6, 2004 |
On ABC's Alias, "Julia Thorne" is a mysterious identity (alias) apparently assumed by Sidney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) during a period in her life that has since been suppressed in her memory. Although this character was first introduced at the outset of the third season, the identity of the "real" Julia Thorne is still unresolved. If you Google for ("Julia Thorne" Alias), you get 373 results, including lots of speculation that "Lauren" is in fact the real Julia. On the other hand, if you Google for ("Julia Thorne" heiress), you'll get 244 results, and you'll learn that John Kerry's first wife is Julia Thorne, "a jet-setting heiress with a family fortune of about $300 million," in the words of the New York Times. If you Google for ("Julia Thorne" Alias heiress), you'll get zero results (until this page enters the index, of course.) I would like to propose that the "real" Julia Thorne is, in fact, John Kerry's first wife. You heard it here first. |
|
