] Two dozen monkeys escaped from a research center and
] holed up in a forest, where animal-control workers used
] bananas and oranges to try to lure them out.

Heeeeere, monkey monkey monkey.....

Monkeys flee research center, keepers trying to lure them with bananas

] An Egyptian radical will get $27 million as a reward for
] giving the United States information that led authorities
] to alleged September 11, 2001, mastermind Khalid Shaikh
] Mohammed, government sources said Wednesday.
]
] The sources, confirming a story previously reported in a
] British paper and in Newsweek, said the unnamed Egyptian
] was captured during a raid in Quetta, Pakistan, last
] month. The Egyptian was described as an al Qaeda foot
] soldier.
]
] Officials said he not only claimed the $25 million award
] that was being offered by the U.S. government for
] information that led to Mohammed's arrest, but also
] demanded $2 million more to help cover the costs of his
] family moving to Great Britain. He is being paid the
] money, the sources said.

Are we now -funding- potential terrorists?!?!

Sources: Egyptian gets $27 million for Mohammed's arrest tip

] In the summer, Florida manatees range as far west as
] Mississippi and as far north as Virginia. When the
] weather cools, these plant-eating aquatic mammals,
] sometimes called sea cows, retreat far southward or into
] natural warm springs sprinkled among Florida's inland
] coastal waterways. The promise of 72-degree water
] year-round draws snorkelers to places like Crystal River
] and Homosassa Springs, two warm-water sites about 60
] miles north of Tampa on Florida's Gulf Coast.

MANATEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Florida: Swimming with sea cows

] I couldn't get arrested. I went to a shopping mall
] this weekend wearing a T-shirt that said "Peace on
] Earth" on it, and, can you believe it, I didn't
] get hauled off to jail. Not like the guy in upstate New
] York who got arrested - handcuffed, even - for walking
] around a shopping mall last week with a T-shirt bearing
] the same inflammatory anti-war slogan.

Newsweek: No War Shirt? No problem

] Bob Knight told Texas Tech he wouldn't accept his
] $250,000 coaching salary this year because his team
] failed to live up to his expectations -- and so did he.

Okay, now I could care less about sports. Actually, no. I couldn't possibly care less about sports. But the last line of this article says "Myers said it has not yet been determined what will be done with the money". I've got an idea!!! Why don't we use the $250K and send some poorer students to this college?! Would that be so difficult? Think of how many people want to go to this school and can't afford it. Blah. I'm one of those people who want to finish my education but can't afford it right now. Maybe he could give some of that money to me.

College Basketball - Men - Knight won't accept $250K salary from Texas Tech - Tuesday March 11, 2003 02:02 AM

] Railroad workers who have a noncancerous illness because
] of exposure to asbestos on the job can recover damages
] for mental torment over the prospect of actually getting
] cancer itself, the Supreme Court ruled today.
]
] In a 5-to-4 decision that was anxiously awaited by
] insurance and business interests for its potential impact
] outside the railroad industry, the court upheld a jury
] award of nearly $5 million for six former railroad
] workers from West Virginia who had developed a
] noncancerous lung disease, asbestosis, after being
] exposed to asbestos dust.
]
] Asbestosis itself does not lead to cancer. But people who
] have the condition are statistically vulnerable to
] cancer, including a deadly form called mesothelioma,
] which attacks the chest cavity and causes excruciating
] pain that is relieved only by death.

Railways Held Liable for Workers' Fear of Deadly Disease

] I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that
] there is a large levitating sinister presence hovering
] towards you with menacing intent through the maligant
] darkness.

Funny story. Reminds me of my ex and his blimpy, sinister presence hovering towards me in the night.

The Horror of Blimps

] hile Pentagon war planners may be gunning for an attack
] on Iraq by mid March, heavily armed soldiers have already
] quietly seized a strategic position: your Easter basket.
] National retailers like Kmart and Walgreens have stocked
] their shelves with baskets in which the traditional
] chocolate rabbit centerpiece has been displaced by
] plastic military action figures and their make-believe
] lethal paraphernalia.

Yes! That's what I want in my Easter basket. Toy soldiers.

The Village Voice: Features: Full Metal Bonnet by Erik Baard

] The tour manager for a rock band that was on stage when a
] deadly nightclub fire broke out told investigators he has
] paperwork outlining the band's general use of
] pyrotechnics, but he said all the documents specific to
] that show were destroyed in the fire.

Sure they were.

Band's tour manager says he had documents about use of pyrotechnics

Today, in the interest of promoting homeland hilarity, we present highlights from the “Family Guide to Terrorism and Preparedness,” which appears on the city of Norwich Web site.

Before we begin, we must insist we are not making this up. In fact, you can enjoy the entire 127-page Power Point presentation at www.norwichct.org.

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! go to the website and check it out!!! It's better than a ready.gov parody.

We Don't Know Whether To Laugh, Cry Or Buy Duct Tape