] Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with
] the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very
] clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed
] to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't
] allowed to do. He collected those things into a
] hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site
] hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since
] gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it.

There are some great ones in here..

# Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

# (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

# My name is not a killing word.

213 things you can't do in the Army