At the end of the skit, in a line Mr. O’Brien insists was ad-libbed, he mentioned that the voyeur (actually Mark Pender, a member of the show’s band) was watching www.hornymanatee.com. There was only one problem: as of the taping of that show, which concluded at 6:30 p.m., no such site existed. Which presented an immediate quandary for NBC: If a viewer were somehow to acquire the license to use that Internet domain name, then put something inappropriate on the site, the network could potentially be held liable for appearing to promote it.

In a pre-emptive strike inspired as much by the regulations of the Federal Communications Commission as by the laws of comedy, NBC bought the license to hornymanatee.com, for $159, after the taping of the Dec. 4 show but before it was broadcast.

By yesterday afternoon hornymanatee.com — created by Mr. O’Brien’s staff and featuring images of such supposedly forbidden acts as “Manatee-on-Manatee” sex (again using characters in costumes) — had received approximately 3 million hits, according to NBC. Meanwhile several thousand of Mr. O’Brien’s viewers have also responded to his subsequent on-air pleas that they submit artwork and other material inspired by the aquatic mammals, and the romantic and sexual shenanigans they imagine, to the e-mail address conan@hornymanatee.com.

One viewer sent a poem. Mr. O’Brien asked James Lipton, the haughty host of “Inside the Actors Studio” on Bravo, to read it on “Late Night.” It included the lines: “I want to freak thy blubber rolls,” and “The product of our ecstasy will be half man and half a-’tee.” After that a curtain opened, and Mr. Lipton gamely danced with the manatee character. Another viewer wrote a song, which Mr. Pender, the band’s trumpet player, crooned to the character. Set to the heavy metal band AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long,” it included the lyrics “She had big black eyes/no discernible thighs” and “The waves start shakin’/the ocean was quakin’/my pelvis was achin’.”

ROFLMAO! I gotta Tivo this shit. :-)

-janelane

So This Manatee Walks Into the Internet - New York Times

"Gimme Stuff" by Rappy McRapperson

Best/Worst Christmas song ever.

For more crack-head rapper antics, check out my fanny pack.

-janelane, celebrating December twentysomething

Gimme Stuff

NEW YORK -- New York Sen. Charles Schumer took to the busy streets of Manhattan Monday to warn consumers and holiday shoppers about a newer type of credit card.

The Democrat said the no-swipe cards that use radio waves to relay their data aren't as secure as the those that have data contained in a magnetic strip.

Tens of millions of no-swipe credit cards have been issued in the past year. When a customer uses the credit card to make a purchase, the card is processed by a radio frequency identification reader operated by the retailer.

"You may as well put your credit card information on a big sign on your back," Schumer said. He said thieves can equip themselves with the radio frequency readers to steal information. The cards are being marketed heavily as time savers.

Financial services companies promoting the cards insist they are safe.

So, on a whim I checked out my local news website and was pleasantly surprised by what I found. A lot of the stories under "Consumer" seem to be more far-reaching than I remember including this little gem.

-janelane, Clark Howard is my huckleberry

Senator: No-Swipe Cards Pose Security Risk - Money - WSBTV.com | WSB

Many past and present members of the Georgia Tech community were stunned to learn of the sudden death of Greg Abbott, artistic director for DramaTech Theater and LCC professor, on December 1st. He devoted over two decades to the students of the university, sacrificing several nights a week to direct student dramatic productions, hold after-hours classes, and meet with different groups of students in addition to teaching. He changed the course of many lives for the better and brought an unrivaled devotion and talent to directing. Mr. Abbott passed away of a heart attack, and his survived by his wife, two teenage children, and the hundreds of young adults he mentored over his career. Greg, your kindness and unwavering support will never be forgotten. R.I.P.

After years of toiling and desperation, our engineers at ThinkGeek Gift Labs(TM) have finally invented something so unique and innovative, it perplexes even the brightest minds as to how global society might be impacted. We'll explain it to you but if your brain explodes, we warned you. You see, we have taken the flesh of a tree, mixed it up with some water and other patented goos. Then we took both some organic and inorganic pigments and dissolved them into a solvent. We took those pigments and applied them to the top of the modified tree flesh using very specific and highly intelligent patterns, and then coated everything with a nice protective finish made out of a special liquid that contains a low percentage of pigment and dries to a nice luster. We then folded these new creations and packaged four to a package and are selling them to you at a very affordable price so that you can turn around and use them to cover up things you want to gift to other people so that they might be surprised in a controlled manner.

Half of the humor is the description above :)

ThinkGeek :: Geeky Wrapping Paper

Ladies and gentlemen, President Bush:

“I know there’s a lot of speculation that these reports in Washington mean there’s going to be some kind of graceful exit out of Iraq,” the president said during a joint news conference here with Mr. Maliki, referring to the panel’s final report that is expected next week. “We’re going to stay in Iraq to get the job done so long as the government wants us there.”

Not the *Iraqi people*, not the *American people*, or the UN, the world, basic common sense, etc....the FREAKING PUPPET GOVERNMENT. Gee, you think a whole roomful of bright bipartisan guys can't read the writing wall? Read some Stephen King...the puppets ALWAYS come to life and kill their masters.

-janelane, puking sick of this man

Bush Dismisses Iraq Panel’s Pullback Plan - New York Times

“Either conditions will improve, or we will starve to death,” vowed one of the first hunger strikers, Steven Woods, in an Internet posting put up by groups opposed to the death penalty. Since death row was moved from an older and more open facility in 2000, he said, “We lost all our group recreation, art programs, and supplies” in addition to “work programs, televisions and religious services.”

Cry me a river. Maybe in the next life you'll think twice about murdering people, shithead.

-janelane

Texas Inmates Protest Conditions With Hunger Strikes - New York Times

WASHINGTON, Nov. 2 — Under a new federal policy, children born in the United States to illegal immigrants with low incomes will no longer be automatically entitled to health insurance through Medicaid, Bush administration officials said Thursday.

Doctors and hospitals said the policy change would make it more difficult for such infants, who are United States citizens, to obtain health care needed in the first year of life.

Illegal immigrants are generally barred from Medicaid but can get coverage for treatment of emergency medical conditions, including labor and delivery.

In the past, once a woman received emergency care under Medicaid for the birth of a baby, the child was deemed eligible for coverage as well, and states had to cover the children for one year from the date of birth.

Under the new policy, an application must be filed for the child, and the parents must provide documents to prove the child’s citizenship.

The documentation requirements took effect in July, but some states have been slow to enforce them, and many doctors are only now becoming aware of the effects on newborns.

Obtaining a birth certificate can take weeks in some states, doctors said. Moreover, they said, illegal immigrant parents may be reluctant to go to a state welfare office to file applications because they fear contact with government agencies that could report their presence to immigration authorities.

Administration officials said the change was necessary under their reading of a new law, the Deficit Reduction Act, signed by President Bush in February. The law did not mention newborns, but generally tightened documentation requirements because some lawmakers were concerned that immigrants were fraudulently claiming United States citizenship to get Medicaid.

Rampant corruption, pork-barrel politics, and PUNISHING BABIES WHO ARE US CITIZENS BY THE CONSTITUTION...God, I fucking hate Republicans and this administration.

-janelane, don't bitch at me....they *are* one in the same

Medicaid Wants Citizenship Proof for Infant Care - New York Times

When he learned in 1995 that he had Alzheimer’s disease, William Utermohlen, an American artist in London, responded in characteristic fashion.

It's only too bad there weren't more pictures, but the idea of gradually losing spatial ability (and not realizing why) is saddeningly apparent. What a terrible disease.

-janelane, writing in my notebook

Self-Portraits Chronicle a Descent Into Alzheimer’s - New York Times

Won't someone keep us safe from terrorist clowns?!

Very cool! I like the mid-air explosions.

-janelane

Sony BRAVIA - The Advert