Go crazy with the cheese whiz!

What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking razor that ever existed. Comprende? We didn't claw our way to the top of the razor game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard. We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.

Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it. They don't tell me what to invent—I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there. I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!

The 5-blade razor has been out awhile, but I thought this "editorial" summed up its origins nicely.

-janelane

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Rare Centuple Play Ends Mets' Season

I *heart* The Onion.

-janelane

Rare Centuple Play Ends Mets' Season | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Saima took out a $65 loan and used the money to buy beads and cloth, which she transformed into beautiful embroidery that she then sold to merchants in the markets of Lahore. She used the profit to buy more beads and cloth, and soon she had an embroidery business and was earning a solid income — the only one in her household to do so. Saima took her elder daughter back from the aunt and began paying off her husband’s debt.null

Changing the world, $65 at a time.

-janelane

The Women’s Crusade - NYTimes.com

Follow-up:

Slate looks at how Obama can kill the death panel rumors.

PolitiFact debunks each fabrication of the crazies point-by-point.

The Kaiser Family Foundation compares each proposal side-by-side.

What a breath of fresh air after all the pollution of the town hall meetings!

-janelane

RE: Healthcare "debate"

Inside the school gymnasium, the president said: "Medicare and Medicaid are on an unsustainable path. Medicare is slated to go into the red in about eight to 10 years."

Outside the school, the Journal's Jonathan Weisman interviewed Diane Campbell of Kingston, N.H. Campbell's mother has an autoimmune disease that "is treated with expensive transfusions of gamma globulin, paid for by Medicare." Campbell's sister, the story notes, "was born with no arms and one leg, and is also covered by Medicare, the government-run, health-insurance program for the elderly and disabled."

In a more logical world, one might expect Campbell's worldview to incorporate the reality that her family relies on a government program to provide essential health care. Campbell might have quarrels with the generosity of Medicare benefits or with how the Medicare program is run. She might legitimately worry that in extending health care to others, the government could divert resources currently available to her mother and her sister through Medicare.

But whatever critique she provided, presumably it would come from a perspective that was consciously left-of-center, because Campbell's bottom line appears to be that the government should continue to extend, or even expand, medical benefits to her family.

Now take a look at the placards that Campbell was waving (that's her in pink).

The two signs are identical, except that one contains a crucifix while the other contains a peace sign. They read: HEY AMERICA, YOU WANT CHANGE. HITLER DID TOO!! A drawing depicts Obama giving the Sieg Heil salute in front of a Nazi swastika. Lest you confuse Campbell's signs with Christian-tinged leftist agitprop, the word SOCIALISM appears under the rendering of Obama as storm trooper. "Adolf Hitler was for exterminating the weak, not just the Jews and stuff, and socialism—that's what's going to happen," Campbell told the Journal.

This is why I don't watch town hall meetings on TV. Nobody with at least a halfway informed opinion shows up.

-janelane

Healthcare "debate"

Moving cautiously, the government did not immediately recommend asylum for the Mexican woman, who is identified in the court papers only by her initials as L.R. But the Department of Homeland Security, in the unusual submission written by senior government lawyers, concluded in plain terms that “it is possible” that the Mexican woman “and other applicants who have experienced domestic violence could qualify for asylum.”

As recently as last year, Bush administration lawyers had argued in the same case that battered women could not meet the strict standards of American asylum law.

As if I didn't need another reason to hate Bush's presidency...

-janelane

U.S. Opens Path to Asylum for Victims of Sexual Abuse - NYTimes.com

Holy shit. Oregon Trail for the iPhone.

I knew there was a good reason to paid 200 bucks for this damn thing!

-janelane

Slate V

ADELPHI, Md. — A federal advisory panel voted narrowly on Tuesday to recommend a ban on Percocet and Vicodin, two of the most popular prescription painkillers in the world, because of their effects on the liver.

This is a blow to migraine sufferers like myself, but I'm sure other products will soon fill the gap left by these medicines. I just wish they had actually addressed the core problem (medicines which are a combination of acetaminophen) instead of two of the culprits.

-janelane

Ban Is Advised on 2 Top Pills for Pain Relief - NYTimes.com

When first invited by Optimus Prime to aid the Autobots in their struggle, Sam resists, saying, "This isn't my war." Eventually, of course, he's drawn into caring about the alien battle, but the audience never is. The cacophonous final showdown between Jetpack and Camshaft, or whatever the last robots standing are named, takes place in some abstract dimension of pure blockbusterdom, impervious to human identification or emotion. It isn't my war, and if it rages on into the summer of 2010, I plan on defecting to Canada.

What's shocking isn't that the new Transformers sucks, it's that the reviewer thought the first one was good.

If you are looking for a good movie, see Drag Me to Hell. Great acting, story development, and guts in just 100 minutes.

-janelane

Transformers: If Only This Sequel Could Transform Itself Into a Better Movie