“I certainly hope that my star power can pump this hearing all the way up to C-Span 1,” Mr. Colbert said, before explaining that the “obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables — and if you look at the recent obesity statistics you’ll see that many Americans have already started.”
But, he continued, his gastroenterologist had explained to him that fruits and vegetables are an important source of “roughage” and said that he “would like to submit a video of my colonoscopy into The Congressional Record.”
“I don’t want a tomato picked by a Mexican — I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan, and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian,” Mr. Colbert said, before turning just perceptibly more serious and talking about how difficult work as a farm worker was.
“After working with these men and women, picking beans, packing corn, for hours on end, side by side, in the unforgiving sun, I have to say and I do mean this sincerely: Please don’t make me do this again, it is really, really hard,” he said.
With all the attention paid to the brain-dead Tea Party, we definitely need a break for some honest-to-FSM truthiness.
