I might just move there: "When it comes to hallucinogenic mushrooms, a Dutch high court has just ruled that fresh is fine but dried is not, in a decision that again upholds the country's reputation for tolerance towards drug use. The ruling affects produce on sale in the Netherland's "smart shops", dozens of boutiques that sell magic mushrooms for customers looking for a legal high. "The United Nations has ruled that animals and plants cannot be classified as psychotropic drugs," said solicitor Ellen van der Plas." Someone tell the DEA.

Upmarket Greengrocer Stocks Magic Mushrooms

Two-year-old Kelsi was attacked as she took a morning stroll with her mother. She stopped to admire the squirrel before it pounced on her face and sank its teeth into her forehead." Her grandfather shot it. Also we note, squirrels spin when you shoot them.

Squirrel's Reign of Terror Ends

The newest drug to hit California's underground club scene is sweet, colourful - and deadly. The drug, a form of methamphetamine called ya ba, a Thai name meaning "crazy drug," has made its way into raves and is said to be significantly more powerful and dangerous than the current club drug of choice, ecstasy.

Thai Drug Hits California Rave Scene

Times are rough in Romania, rough enough to require a massively parallel circle jerk to seed the factory's recovery: "Our feasibility study shows that if 1,000 workers donate their sperm for several months, we can get enough funds to pay part of the plant's debts."

Workers Jerkoff to Save the Factory