Some movies need the big screen. The Abyss comes to mind--nothing like feeling totally surrounded by water in the dark with a huge screen towering above you. So, when all the hype about this great scary movie, The Descent, was going on, and I figured I was due for a fright (I can only handle one every so often, being overly imaginative. Saw about did me in for two years), my boyfriend and I took the plunge and went to see The Descent. We both figured it was "big screen worthy" (sort of like being sponge-worthy, I suppose), since you want to feel swallowed by the cave.

Was I ever disappointed. I'm shocked with the IMDB ratings and the slew of "wow, greatest thing ever" reveiews. I don't want to offer up spoilers to prove my points, so I'll just rant thusly:

1. Other than an initial "shock value" moment at the start, there isn't anything special about the scares in this movie.

2. I hate people that don't learn from their mistakes. You run away and get separated and you might get picked off. So, after doing something that stupid once, don't you think you wouldn't do it again after regrouping? Yeah, that's what I thought.

3. Make up your mind--are they going to be tough chicks who are logical or are they going to be illogical, whiny, grudge-holding, screaming women. Flip flopping between the two extremes whenever it's convenient for the plot just irritates me.

4. DO NOT USE FLARES IN A CAVE. Duh.

5. All of the inconsistencies, stupidities, etc made it so bad that I actually was hoping for them all to die horrible, horrible deaths (I won't tell you if they do or not). I wanted to laugh, not jump, and I came in there wanting to be truly terrified. I wanted to be so scared that going out to my car in the dark for the next few weeks on my way to the gym tripped me out (this happened with Saw. I thought I was going to die I was so fidgety in the dark for weeks. Yes, I'm a wuss).

6. I got creepier "oooh scary" feelings from the Ted the Caver story on the internet (http://www.holyshiite.com/caver/) which I had read prior to going to this movie. So I was hyped up and ready. Pity it couldn't live up to it.

/rant

I honestly don't get it why everyone's saying it's such a masterpiece of horror and a "gorefest". It's really not. Too many errors. Too many inconsistencies. I just can't believe so many people find it great. I'm sincerely boggled by it.

~Heathyr

The Descent (2005)--Just So Not Worth It