] Now I'm sure you're asking yourself, "how bad could it
] be?" Okay, let me tell you. It all started innocently
] enough, I sat down on a cold ring of porceline, picked up
] a mag, and got to work. What followed will haunt me every
] time I enter the facilities

WARNING: This is absolutely disgusting and at the same time so funny I just couldn't stop laughing. I will say this is very foul so check with caution.

That was one nasty dump you gave me, Mr Waffle House cook