My side hurts...

Darth Fatty?

] The use of broadband access -- Internet hook-ups via
] cable lines or digital subscriber lines (DSL) -- jumped
] 50 percent from March 2002 to March 2003. But fewer Web
] users with dial-up phone connections now want to switch
] to broadband.

The last 12 months would've been a great time to be in the HSI business!

Broadband Internet connections stall

] However, there have also been a number of people who
] claim I'm overstating the case and that it's not possible
] to build a real cruise missile without access to
] sophisticated gear, specialist tools and information not
] readily available outside the military.
]
] So, in order to prove my case, I decided to put my money
] where my mouth is and build a cruise missile in my own
] garage, on a budget of just US$5,000.

Fux0ring 3133t Cruise Missile d00d3s

] Joel Freedman grew upset at seeing lobsters, with rubber
] bands on their claws, piled atop one another in a
] supermarket tank. The animal-rights advocate figured it
] was time to make his anger known.
]
] Freedman bought a pound of scallops and, before anyone
] could intervene, lifted the tank lid and dumped them in.

What a waste of perfectly good scallops.

Yahoo! News - Man Feeds Lobsters at Supermarket

] The distinctive taste of Newcastle Brown Ale has become
] the latest ice cream flavour from a family-run
] Northumberland dairy
]
] Newcastle Brown Ale flavoured ice cream was launched on
] Tuesday by Doddington Dairies, and will only be available
] during the summer months.

I'd love ot try this.

BBC NEWS | England | Tyne | Beer ice cream goes on sale

You'd think America would have gotten over its fury at the Dixie Chicks by now.

But no.

The Chicks Are Alright

With much appreciation to crankymessiah for sending me this:

From Defective Yeti:
Last night some friends and I were sitting around drinking beer and, it goes without saying, discussing the Washington State system of taxation. Here in Seattle we have a sales tax, which is a total pain in the ass because (a) you have to pay it (lame), and (b) it means that your average item in The Dollar Store costs some ridiculous amount like $1.31 and you can't figure out the real price of things without resorting to irrational numbers and you have to carry around your spare pennies instead of throwing them at children like you would do in other states. True fact: When 50 Cent was here in concert last week, he was legally obligated to perform under that name "67 Cent." (Whoa, that joke was even worse than I had anticipated.)

Anyhow, we were wondering how much of sales tax revenue goes to health care programs. More every year, we guessed, since, statistically, Americas are becoming ever more out-of-shape. But you got to figure that a lot of that revenue goes to administrative costs and middle-men, not to mention that health care tends to be reactive rather than preventive. We decided that there must be a better way.

That's we came up with this great idea for a General Health Tax: for every dollar you spend you must do a sit-up. Want the new No Doubt CD? No problem: fourteen bucks and two dozen sit-ups, please. Got a two pack-a-day cigarette habit? Well now you have a six sit-up-a-day habit as well. Just bought a brand new Ford Excursion? Fantastic. That will be 50,000 sit-ups over the next 10 years, plus 60 sit-ups every time you fill up the tank -- BET YOU WISH IT DIDN'T GET ONE MILE TO THE GALLON NOW DON'T YOU SUCKA?!

I think we should pilot this plan in Washington state, and then extend it to the entire United States. Conspicuous consumption would go way down, people would have a great incentive to save, and America would quickly come to dominate the United Nations Council On Killer Abs. Plus, what tax payer doesn't want the opportunity to check "no" to "Would you like to do three sit-ups for the Presidential Election Campaign Fund?"

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters - the costume and special effects teams.

Whoa!

] I forgot all about that song!!! I used to have it but I don't
] anymore. This is awesome!

Cows With Guns

] Is ecstasy harmful or helpful? The answer depends on whom
] you ask.

Uncovering Ecstasy