NEW YORK—At a press conference Monday, drug giant Pfizer formally introduced Hoagizine, a pharmaceutical-grade Turkey-Bacon-Guacamole Melt so delicious, it's only available by prescription.
"Made with lean white turkey breast, hickory-smoked bacon, zesty guacamole, Boston leaf lettuce, and ripe tomatoes on crusty French bread, Hoagizine is indicated in the treatment of lunchtime satisfaction dysfunction," said Stephen Spencer, Pfizer's head of research and product development. "But Hoagizine is only available after consultation with a physician, so be sure to ask your doctor if this new sandwich is right for you."

Onion: New Prescription Only Sandwich Extra Delicious

] If you've ever wondered how big the universe is, you're
] not alone. Astronomers have long pondered this, too, and
] they've had a hard time figuring it out. Now an estimate
] has been made, and it's a whopper.
]
] The universe is at least 156 billion light-years wide.

And you thought it was a long walk to the grocery store. -LB

Universe Measured: We're 156 Billion Light-years Wide!

There are many reasons you might wish to purchase the 75-piece set of amazingly heinous gold-plated Versace flatware I've recently come to possess through no fault of my own.

Perhaps you are an angry gay attorney with a lot of disposable income, desperately searching for a collection of cutlery to complement the glossy black dining table, blue sofa and neon waterfall in your tastelessly decorated domain.

More from ebay

A comparison across markets of NHL ticket prices. No doubt, we have it good in Nashville.

Price of admission

] The Russian capital Moscow now boasts more billionaires
] than any other city in the world, according to a survey
] by Forbes magazine.
]
] The study also estimates that a quarter of Russia's
] wealth is now concentrated in the hands of just 100
] people.

BBC NEWS | Business | Moscow 'has most billionaires'

"Neurotypical individuals find it difficult to be alone and are often intolerant of seemingly minor differences in others. Tragically, as many as 9,625 out of every 10,000 individuals may be neurotypical."

Neurodiversity Forever

A valet trying to park a sports utility vehicle accidentally hit a parked BMW, sending the unoccupied car halfway off a deck and dangling over the street and a parked SUV below.

The incident took place about 2 p.m. Wednesday inside and part-way outside a a Midtown Atlanta parking garage at 230 Spring Street. No injuries were reported.

The SUV and the front end of the BMW were intertwined in the collision. Emergency crews were able to pull the BMW safely back into the garage without incident.

How not to park a BMW

] Pity Marc Benioff. Sure, his net worth may well exceed
] $250 million when Salesforce.com, the company he helped
] to start in 1999, goes public, most likely in the next
] couple of months.

It's Not Google. It's That Other Big I.P.O.

These are hilarious.

Patriotic Posters

Decius said: "So newspapers all over the planet are blaring these pictures today on the front page, but the issue seems to be 3rd page news in the domestic American media and the pictures are very difficult to locate online. Here they are. This isn't all of them but its enough.

The soldiers explanations about having not gotten proper guidance from management seems ridiculous in light of the photographs. It should be obvious to anyone that this behavior is inappropriate.

In case you haven't seen the stories, the individual on the box has been told that if he falls off the box he will be electrocuted..."

Scott says "Personally, I think you should print these, laminate them, and carry them around with you wherever you go. When you run into someone at WalMart or work and they start talking about how Dubya 'is my president right or wrong' and 'we should nuke the whole middle east' and 'support our troops' - show them these pictures and remind them that our government is just as bad as the ones we topple. This is just the shit that you can see! It gets worse."

The Abu Ghraib Prison Photos