"I was a little surprised, but I knew right away it was a wise choice. It is safer to marry a cousin than a stranger." Iqbal's reaction was typical in a country where nearly half of marriages are between first or second cousins, a statistic that is one of the more important and least understood differences between Iraq and America. The extraordinarily strong family bonds complicate virtually everything Americans are trying to do here, from finding Saddam Hussein to changing women's status to creating a liberal democracy. ... "Liberal democracy is based on the Western idea of autonomous individuals committed to a public good, but that's not how members of these tight and bounded kin groups see the world. Their world is divided into two groups: kin and strangers." ... "Japan and India have managed to blend traditional social structures with modern democracy, and Iraq could do the same." But it will take time and finesse, along with respect for traditions like women wearing the veil. "A key purpose of veiling is to prevent outsiders from competing with a woman's cousins for marriage. Attack veiling, and you are attacking the core of the Middle Eastern social system." Iraqi Family Ties Complicate American Efforts for Change | 
