Once upon a time there was one kingdom - the Kingdom of Bell. The Kingdom of Bell had many toll roads that connected the serf's homes together and allowed the serfs to travel to different marketplaces from which they could download content. Generally speaking, these roads were not as good for bringing goods to market as they were for downloading content from the marketplaces. No one seemed to care about that, because no one believed that the serfs had anything interesting to offer the marketplace anyway.

One day, a new Kingdom was born - the Kingdom of Google. The Kingdom of Google was once one of the marketplaces that the serfs downloaded content from, but it became very popular, and all the serfs wanted to travel there. In order to reach the Kingdom of Google, the serfs had to cross the Kingdom of Bell, and pay a toll. The King of Bell realized that many serfs wanted to travel to the Kingdom of Google, and decided to raise the toll on that trip.

The King of Google felt that this was unfair. He argued that all of the roads through the Kingdom of Bell should have the same price. This is referred to as Net Neutrality. The Kingdom of Google paid lawyers to extoll the virtues of net neutrality, arguing that all the different marketplaces ought to be able to compete on even footing for the interest of the serfs. If one marketplace was more expensive for the serfs to travel to than another, than the serfs might choose to do business at a less expensive marketplace because of the price, even if that marketplace was comparatively worse. The lawyers argued that it was in the best interest of all of the serfs to have access to the best marketplaces available.

The King of Bell disagreed with the King of Google. He argued that there was so much traffic on the road to Google that the road needed constant upgrade and repairs, and that the extra toll money could go toward making sure that traffic traveled along that road as fast as possible.

The King of Google didn't believe the King of Bell's explanations. The Knights of the Round Google handed pitchforks and torches to all of the serfs that visited their land and told them that the Kingdom of Bell was evil and their plans to disrupt Net Neutrality had to be stopped at all cost. Many of these serfs camped outside Bell Castle in protest of the new tolls.

Of course, it was impossible for any of the serfs to compete with the Kingdom of Google, because the roads through the Kingdom of Bell enabled the serfs to download content from the marketplaces, but they were not good for bringing new content to market or running new marketplaces. None of the lawyers paid by the Kingdom of Google to extoll the virtues of Net Neutrality ever bothered to mention the fact that the serfs were not on equal footing with the marketplaces.

In the end, neither the King of Bell nor the King of Google nor the any of the King's lawyers nor any of the King's men gave a damn about the legitimate interests of serfs. They all just want the serf's collective money. The King of Google has, nevertheless, managed to convince many of the serfs that those serfs are engaged in a revolution against the King of Bell, that this revolution is a grass roots fight against oppression, and victory is necessary to restore all that is right and good to the world.

Hence this fight over net neutrality is really no different from countless wars that have been fought for thousands of years in which serfs bled and died for the interest of Kings, believing all the while that they were defending honor, valor, good, and right, when in fact they were just defending some jerk's pile of gold.

The End.