>Uncle Sam
Today I stole a sticker from a little girl at Disney World and made her cry.

>rezidew
you monster

>Uncle Sam
That was her father's contention.

My contention was that I thought the sticker was garbage, as it was a free promotional piece of crap, and was in the floor of an abandoned Disney stroller in a pile of popcorn and napkins.

We did not find common ground.

>rezidew
lmao
you're gonna get ejected from diney world

>Uncle Sam
Yeah
It was like an episode of Larry David
The guy was screaming YOU STOLE THE STICKER
I can't decide if his daughter really cried, or if he exaggerated for effect.
Either way, I felt super guilty.
I was like, "Isn't that a free sticker?" He was like, "IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU STOLE IT!" I was like, "It was in a pile of garbage in the floor. I thought it was discarded." IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU THIEF!
If his daughter cried, I forgive him his anger.
But if he made it up for effect to justify his materialism, I object.

>rezidew
lmao
LMAO
it was on the floor?

>Uncle Sam
Whats more... why was he hauling his kid around in a stroller filled with garbage?
Dude, it was in a pile of popcorn and napkins.
And the stroller was not in a stroller parking area, it was just sitting there.
It was a DISNEY stroller.
1) If it was not a disney stroller, I would never have taken the sticker.
2) IF the sticker was not obviously free, I would not have taken the sticker.
3) If the sticker was not obviously (to me, at the time) garbage, I would not have taken the sticker.
4) If I had thought anyone could have actually been upset at me taking the sticker... I would not have taken the sticker.
morally, I think I'm clear
Woman disagrees because "I couldn't be SURE it didn't belong to someone."
But I say that wasted material should be liberated, and that takes priority at some point once the odds of it being owned drop below a certain point. My error was in not realizing that kids love fucking stickers in my estimation of that equation.

>rezidew
LMAO

>Uncle Sam
There was a roll of 8. I took the blue donkey.

>rezidew
so did they see you take the sticker?

>Uncle Sam
His contention was that his daughter was attached to those stickers big time, and that she learned that men are evil because of me.
No. He came up to me 20 minutes after I took it.
It was on my chest.
Who the fuck steals 1 out of 8 stickers and puts it on his chest and remains at the scene of the crime?
THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

>rezidew
lol
who leaves their stroller unattended for 20 min?

>Uncle Sam
Everyone, at Disney. But most people park them in designated areas.
Actually that is the weak part of my argument: there were 2 other strollers nearby, but they were not Disney.
But because the thing was FILLED with garbage, I thought it abandoned.
Who the fuck hauls a kid around in garbage?
THAT is outrageous.

This is fucking killing me lol

I made a little girl cry by stealing her sticker at Disney World