Have you ever wondered why you vote the way you do? Why you adhere to a religion? Why you hold to a political philosophy? Well, our good friends at the University of Berkley have come up with an answer for this perplexing life question. Unfortunately, they only have the answer if youre a conservative. The professors at Berkley have harnessed all their intellect and wisdom to conclude that youre mentally ill! Their conclusions, published in the American Psychological Association's Psychological Bulletin is claimed to be drawn from over fifty years of research literature about the psychology of conservatism. The conservative psyche, they say, boils down to this: Fear and Aggression
Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity
Uncertainty avoidance
Need for cognitive closure
Terror management Think thats too crazy to be in context? Perhaps the Berkley professors thought that too, so they made sure we would all understand by citing specific examples. Conservatives can be seen endorsing inequality as reflected in the Indian caste system, South African apartheid and the conservative, segregationist politics of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond (R- S.C.). Liberal translation: Conservatives are primitive, oppressive and racist. But it gets better. Classic examples of conservatives include Hitler, Mussolini, and get this- Ronald Reagan. Not to mention that the Talk host Rush Limbaugh can be described the same way. Last time I checked, Rush wasnt wearing swastikas or trying to eliminate undesirables. In fact, the only people who do that today are communists, dictators, and Berkley liberals. Just like the Nazis and Soviets, liberals seem to have no remorse about naming their opponents as mentally ill. Make no mistake about it; Hitler was no conservative when it came to valuing the dignity of human life. Stalin had political dissidents put in insane asylums for re-education. Liberals create diversity training programs for ideological indoctrination. No doubt they would follow in the footsteps of Stalin if only given the chance. The Berkley team cannot even resist the temptation to defend Islamic terrorists. Conservatives display of terror management can be seen in post-September 11 America, where many people appear to shun and even punish outsiders and those who threaten the status of cherished world views. May the Berkley gods forgive us of being intolerant of suicidal maniacs whose sole passion in life is to end our own. The only other option to shunning and punishing Islamic terrorists is to allow them carry out their genocidal goals. This is what the brilliant minds at Berkley would prefer. But the traitorous educators are not without a concession, for that though conservatives are less "integratively complex" than others as one professor said, "it doesn't mean that they're simple-minded." I can only give but a word of small advice for this obviously simple-minded researcher; that he should examine his own sick comrades next time so we might find the source of this new undercurrent of Nazi psychology. Until then, Im off to shave my head, move to India, and burn some crosses. Have You Come Down With A Bad Case of Liberalism? Symptoms Include:
Naivety and laziness
Relativism and an intolerance of truth
Confusion seeking
Need for cognitive anarchy
Ignorance management |
