] Joel Freedman grew upset at seeing lobsters, with rubber
] bands on their claws, piled atop one another in a
] supermarket tank. The animal-rights advocate figured it
] was time to make his anger known.
]
] Freedman bought a pound of scallops and, before anyone
] could intervene, lifted the tank lid and dumped them in.

What a waste of perfectly good scallops.

Yahoo! News - Man Feeds Lobsters at Supermarket

With much appreciation to crankymessiah for sending me this:

From Defective Yeti:
Last night some friends and I were sitting around drinking beer and, it goes without saying, discussing the Washington State system of taxation. Here in Seattle we have a sales tax, which is a total pain in the ass because (a) you have to pay it (lame), and (b) it means that your average item in The Dollar Store costs some ridiculous amount like $1.31 and you can't figure out the real price of things without resorting to irrational numbers and you have to carry around your spare pennies instead of throwing them at children like you would do in other states. True fact: When 50 Cent was here in concert last week, he was legally obligated to perform under that name "67 Cent." (Whoa, that joke was even worse than I had anticipated.)

Anyhow, we were wondering how much of sales tax revenue goes to health care programs. More every year, we guessed, since, statistically, Americas are becoming ever more out-of-shape. But you got to figure that a lot of that revenue goes to administrative costs and middle-men, not to mention that health care tends to be reactive rather than preventive. We decided that there must be a better way.

That's we came up with this great idea for a General Health Tax: for every dollar you spend you must do a sit-up. Want the new No Doubt CD? No problem: fourteen bucks and two dozen sit-ups, please. Got a two pack-a-day cigarette habit? Well now you have a six sit-up-a-day habit as well. Just bought a brand new Ford Excursion? Fantastic. That will be 50,000 sit-ups over the next 10 years, plus 60 sit-ups every time you fill up the tank -- BET YOU WISH IT DIDN'T GET ONE MILE TO THE GALLON NOW DON'T YOU SUCKA?!

I think we should pilot this plan in Washington state, and then extend it to the entire United States. Conspicuous consumption would go way down, people would have a great incentive to save, and America would quickly come to dominate the United Nations Council On Killer Abs. Plus, what tax payer doesn't want the opportunity to check "no" to "Would you like to do three sit-ups for the Presidential Election Campaign Fund?"

A Great Tax Solution

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters - the costume and special effects teams.

Whoa!

] Nashville Predators Executive Vice President/General
] Manager David Poile announced today that the club has
] signed forward Jordin Tootoo (TOO-too), the team's
] fourth-round selection (98th overall) in the 2001 NHL
] Entry Draft. In keeping with club policy, terms of the
] deals were not disclosed.

Woohoo!

Nashville Predators - News

] The Supreme Court ruled unanimously Monday that the
] unaccredited copying of an uncopyrighted work does not
] violate the federal law against false representation.

United Press International: Court simplifies origin-of-work law

] All those hours spent playing video games may not be
] wasted time after all: A new study suggests action-packed
] video games like "Grand Theft Auto III" and
] "Counter-Strike" may sharpen your mind.
]
] Researchers at the University of Rochester found that
] young adults who regularly played video games full of
] high-speed car chases and blazing gun battles showed
] better visual skills than those who did not. For example,
] they kept better track of objects appearing
] simultaneously and processed fast-changing visual
] information more efficiently.
]
] To rule out the possibility that visually adept people
] are simply drawn to video games, the researchers
] conducted a second experiment. They found that people who
] do not normally play video games but were trained to play
] them developed enhanced visual perception.

See mom? Video games are GOOD for you!

Laughing Boy

Study: Playing video games not so mindless

] Nullsoft Beep is an application that makes your computer
] sound like computers sound in the movies. It requires
] Windows 95 or later with DirectX 3 or later.
]
] features:
]
] Excitement-Generation Technology[tm].
]
] Hyper-Auto-Blips[tm] on screen updates and keyboard
] input.
]
] Variable low hum dependent on system CPU load.
]
] System tray icon.
]
] Install and uninstall support.
]
] Source code included!

Nullsoft Beep

] Bob Geldof astonished the aid community yesterday by
] using a return visit to Ethiopia to praise the Bush
] administration as one of Africa's best friends in its
] fight against hunger and Aids.
]
] The musician-turned activist said Washington was
] providing major assistance, in contrast to the European
] Union's "pathetic and appalling" response to the
] continent's humanitarian crises.
]
] "You'll think I'm off my trolley when I say this, but the
] Bush administration is the most radical - in a positive
] sense - in its approach to Africa since Kennedy," Geldof
] told the Guardian.
]
] The neo-conservatives and religious rightwingers who
] surrounded President George Bush were proving
] unexpectedly receptive to appeals for help, he said. "You
] can get the weirdest politicians on your side."
]
] Former president Bill Clinton had not helped Africa much,
] despite his high-profile visits and apparent empathy with
] the downtrodden, the organiser of Live Aid, claimed.
] "Clinton was a good guy, but he did fuck all."

Interesting.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Geldof back in Ethiopia

] When June Medford came up with the idea to use tiny weeds
] as weapons in the war against terrorism, she figured most
] people would call it a joke. But the federal government
] didn't laugh.
]
] Now, armed with a half million-dollar grant from the
] Pentagon, the Colorado State University plant biologist
] is trying to genetically engineer Arabidopsis plants to
] change color rapidly if they sense a biological or
] chemical agent.
]
] If her plan works, the technology could be used to turn
] forest evergreens, backyard shrubs or even pond algae
] into sentinels for scientists. One day, everyone in
] America might be able to use a cheap houseplant as an
] early-warning system. It could be the proverbial canary
] in a coal mine for the post-Sept. 11 age.

Bugs, weeds, houseplants could join the war on terror

] Matthew's Angels
] Teen Cancer Survivor Takes Five Nurses to Senior Prom
]
] May 27— When Matthew Stasik walked into his high school
] prom, he had three dates on one arm, and two on the other.

Goes to prom dressed like a pimp with five hot dates, way to go!

ABCNEWS.com : Teen Beats Cancer, Takes Nurses to Prom