Here it is....

Burningman Bingo

] On Friday August 23rd 2002 Zac "Mr Magnet" Monro, 2001
] AGWC Champ and meek mild mannered architect from London,
] won the 7th Annual Air Guitar World Championship held in
] Oulu, Finland.

RAWK!

Air Guitar World Championships

] It takes a lot to attract attention with a new car in
] Monterey, where a Ferrari on the street rarely warrants a
] second glance. But Bugatti was able to do just that with
] its new super car.

0-180 in 14 seconds. Start saving now.

MSN Autos - 2003 Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance

2003 Darwin Awards
In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin
Awards,here they are. The awards this year are, once again, truly
classic.

These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that
individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the
most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Just
think... until these events, these same people were walking the
streets like normal people.

5th RUNNER-UP:
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift
tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on
a foam pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central
Mammoth Hospital.

The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski
run called Stump alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift
towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Dept. The
pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group
apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed
into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower
he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th RUNNER-UP:
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St.
Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo
grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without
paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to
death.

3rd RUNNER-UP:
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing
above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell
on him.

2nd RUNNER-UP:
"Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably
related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22
bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap
into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl.
M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and
was trying to explode it." "It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll
show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it
blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said.
Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive
facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area
Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like
that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP:
Doctors at Portland University Hospita... [ Read More (0.4k in body) ]

2003 Darwin Awards

] Christian pastors here at Landover Baptist thought their
] tireless efforts to warn Americans about the carefully
] disguised homosexual agenda targeting toddlers through
] Disney cartoons was working. They thought that since
] President George W. Bush, a devout Christian who attends
] a Bible church regularly and believes in the same
] three-headed God (Father, Son, and flying side-kick, The
] Holy Ghost) took office, that Americans were finally
] waking up. Our pastors took for granted that Americans
] understood that Jesus is not above sending little
] children straight to Hell for watching cartoons. It
] wasn't until Pastor Deacon Fred heard that millions of
] American children were being lured like zombies in a
] trance to see the new Disney film, Finding Nemo, that he
] decided to speak out against it.
]
] "Walt Disney would be spinning in his grave if he knew
] his animation studios were full of giggling homosexuals,
] doodling and talking about silly colors and little
] fishies for their latest film," said Pastor Deacon Fred
] last Sunday. "But as we all know, Walt Disney never made
] it to Heaven. Although he hated Jews almost as much as
] the Apostle Paul did, he never took the time to accept
] Jesus Christ as his personal savior. So Mr. Disney is
] burning in Hell right now and God melted his eyes right
] out of his head.

I *love* Landover Baptist Church! One of the all-time greatest spoof sites I've seen.

Children are Finding Nemo Instead of Finding Jesus, and the Homos at Disney are to Blame!

] Want to soar like an eagle? Then go with a parasail or a
] hang glider. But for those who dream of screaming through
] the air like a superhero, there's the Skyray - a solid,
] triangular, carbon-fiber contraption that lets skydivers
] shoot above the clouds at 186 mph for two exhilarating
] minutes. That's quadruple the air time of the usual free
] fall and almost twice the speed of the world's fastest
] bird, the spine-tailed swift.

I will have to do this someday.

Wired 11.09: Wingman

] A Brazilian man who considered an inflatable puppet his
] "bride" killed his parents because they demanded he
] divorce her and damaged the toy, media reports said
] today.

Blow-up bride proved deadly - smh.com.au

RENO, NV, August 13 - Reno police arrested a local man for possession of stolen property after a traffic stop involving a motorized bar stool.

Reno police pull over speeding bar stool

] A couple who met through a saucy mobile phone text
] message sent accidentally are preparing to get married.
]
] Paul Bishop, 30, was intrigued when he received a mystery
] message which read: "26, ski instructor, GSOH,
] 36-26-28ish and brunette."
]
] Mr Bishop, from Royston, near Barnsley, South Yorkshire,
] replied: "Tell me more."

I love fate.

Mistaken text leads to marriage

] Heads up, sharers of music, video and software files: If
] a prominent Michigan lawmaker has his way on Capitol
] Hill, you will soon be a felon.
]
] U.S. Rep. John Conyers, a Detroit Democrat, is the
] sponsor of the Author, Consumer, and Computer Owner
] Protection and Security (ACCOPS) Act of 2003, which
] declares sharing a single copyrighted file online to be a
] felony.
]
] Because the bill doesn't specifically name the type of
] file, you could theoretically become a felon by copying
] and posting this very column on your Web site. (We frown
] on that sort of thing anyway, but webmasters, be warned.)
]
] Giving fake information to the folks who register domain
] names, the basic Internet Web addresses (such as
] freep.com), would be punishable by up to five years in
] prison and a fine. Using a camcorder to record a movie in
] a theater -- whether you share it or not -- would be a
] federal criminal offense.

HEATHER NEWMAN: 60 million file sharers could face prison, fine