] HONOLULU -In an announcement with grave implications ] for the primacy of the species of man, marine biologists ] at the Hawaii Oceanographic Institute reported Monday ] that dolphins, or family Delphinidae, have evolved ] opposable thumbs on their pectoral fins. ] ] "I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, ] 'Holy fuck,'" said Oceanographic Institute director Dr. ] James Aoki, noting that the dolphin has a cranial ] capacity 40 percent greater than that of humans. "That's ] it for us monkeys." End the year with a laugh. The Onion | Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs |