Any time travellers who wish to make their fortune by tampering with the past should contact me immediately (if not sooner). I charge 10% of profits after taxes, in contemporary currency, and discretion is assured. Everything else (returns, nature of markets, use of numbered swiss accounts) negotiable.

] Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall
] Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly,
] he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

I don't think he's lying.

] Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall
] Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly,
] he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

I don't think he's lying.

For the record, these are other recent headlines from "Weekly World News":

 3/24/2003: How You Can Own A Piece Of Iraq Land
 3/21/2003: Archaeologist Finds 12,000 Year Old Magazine From Atlantis!
 3/20/2003: Secret Videotape Shows Lions Eating Christians In Iraq
 3/19/2003: 'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
 3/18/2003: Schools Will Soon Force Your Kids To Take Drugs!
 3/17/2003: Fish Has Human Face!
 3/14/2003: Bigfoot Captures Sexy Camper For His Love Slave

And it's not even April 1st yet! :)

] Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall
] Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly,
] he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

] Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from
] over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge
] that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges
] in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the
] handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could
] make a fortune.
]
] "It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly
] said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make
] it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there
] so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in
] the moment."
]
] In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to
] divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of
] Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

Hahaha..

If the guys managed to nail 126 trades, taking $800 to $350m, he clearly has oodles of inside information. So much so, that time travel is about the only explanation for it.. It is eerie that there is no record of him.. Of course, he might not be using his real name.

What stocks did he buy? Thats the information I want..

Oh yeah.. And that one peice of information that the Weekly World News always leaves out that conclusively proves its all bullshit..