From the Loose Tweets Sink Fleets Department:

Something very strange is underway. I went to get cash out of an ATM this morning, and the ATM had no cash. So, I went to another ATM, and it too had no cash. Strange, right?

What in the world is going on? Oh, it's a hacker causing all of this chaos. A hacker has gotten into the U.S. Federal payroll system and electronically issued paychecks ... to himself! totaling billions of dollars!

How did a hacker get into our network? Did you lose a laptop or PDA? Or maybe you gave out DoD systems information to a salesman?

From the archive, The Horror, The Horror:

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!

Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.

Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!

Homer: [relieved] That's good.

Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: [worried] That's bad.

Owner: But you get your choice of topping!

Homer: [relieved] That's good.

Owner: The toppings contain Potassium Benzoate.

Homer: [stares]

Owner: That's bad.