] The blimp which was up until this moment a fun toy here
] embarked on a career of evil.

Amusing story about a family's encounter with one of those 3-foot helium blimp toys.

] Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little
] dwarf in a security outfit was paging through a Penthouse
] while smoking a cigar with his feet up on the table,
] watching the security monitors of my brain with his
] peripheral vision. Suddenly he saw the LARGE SILENT
] SINSITER MENACING FLOATING PRESENCE coming at me, and he
] pulled every panic switch and hit every alarm that my
] body has.

I don't want to give it away but this is just too funny,

"I always knew this was going to happen. I always knew that skepticism and science were mere psychological decorations and vanities. Deep in our alligator brains we all know that the world is just chock full of evil and monsters and sinister forces aligned against us, and it is only a matter of time until they show up. Evolution know this, too. It knows what to do when the silent terror comes at you from out of the dark."

] Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little
] dwarf in a security outfit was paging through a Penthouse
] while smoking a cigar with his feet up on the table,
] watching the security monitors of my brain with his
] peripheral vision. Suddenly he saw the LARGE SILENT
] SINSITER MENACING FLOATING PRESENCE coming at me, and he
] pulled every panic switch and hit every alarm that my
] body has. A full decade's allotment of adrenaline was
] dumped into my bloodstream all at once. My metabolism
] went from "restful sleep mode" to HOLY SHIT! FIGHT FOR
] YOUR LIFE OR DIE!!!! mode" in a nanosecond. My heart went
] from twenty something beats per minute to about 240 even
] faster.

Funny.

] I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that
] there is a large levitating sinister presence hovering
] towards you with menacing intent through the maligant
] darkness.

Funny story. Reminds me of my ex and his blimpy, sinister presence hovering towards me in the night.