Re: FBG, here's Amy Ozols:

People say that obesity is an epidemic in America, but I’m determined not to become part of the problem. My foolproof system involves just nine easy steps.

Step 3: Get rid of your “fat clothes.” Keeping your closet stocked with unflattering garments will only distract you from your quest for a slender body. To complete this step, shred or burn everything in your closet, including any hangers or shelving that a fat person may have touched. Refrain from donating anything to charity, as this could cause underprivileged people to become obese, which would be unsavory and possibly even illegal.

From the archive:

He wore a crisp dress shirt the color of mint ice cream and a color-coordinated tie, which made him look like an insurance claims adjustor.

Also, two on foolproofing:

“I am trying to design a foolproof plan to prevent any negative externalities,” she said.

Unfortunately, these so-called experts wash out as soon as times change because their foolproof strategies crash and burn.