I once decided it would be a good idea to name a bar in San Antonio “The Basement” so tour guides at the Alamo actually have an answer when jokesters ask where the basement is. But it turns out there actually is a bar in San Antonio called The Basement. This time I’ve got a name for a bar that doesn’t seem to exist already as far as my Google Search can tell (I’m sure someone will tell me if I’m wrong). This bar would probably best be located in Silicon Valley: "The Progress Bar".

A while back, a group of us joked about opening a restaurant called The Random Wok. Nominally, it's a Chinese restaurant, but there is no menu, and there are no waitstaff to take your order. Instead, you walk in and sit down at a table, any table. People emerge from the kitchen at unpredictable intervals, arbitrarily carrying trays of unspecified foods to randomly selected tables. It's like a cross between dim sum and churrascaria, except that both the food and the service are systematically unsystematic.