In the Valley's coffee community, Bill McCauley was regarded as a pleasant, popular fellow.
As well as in the Silicon Valley tech community. Several people here at MemeStreams worked for Bill back in 2000-2001. According to Tempe authorities, on the morning of May 5, McCauley backed his car into the storage area of Red Rock Foods, 626 S. Smith Road, and deliberately set a gasoline-fueled fire. The explosion also killed his pet dachshund Millikin, named for its owner's alma mater in Illinois. No note was found, leaving those left behind only speculation about why McCauley would kill himself in such a public and painful manner.
I'm truly in shock here.. Bill burned himself to death. It's not like he ran his car inside a garage with the door down... He lit himself and his car on fire! The article uses the word "explosion"! I can't imagine what the hell could have been going on in his mind. I maintained contact with Bill over the years. He was someone I'd talk to via IM regularly, sometimes going back and forth for hours while working on things. We wound up speaking once a year via phone for some reason or another. He was a friend. He was someone I admired. We was a complex guy, who you always knew you were only scratch the surface of... It was always peculiar that there were a large number of pretty damn signifigant achievements that he always kept largely to himself. I had worked with him and then known him for a few years before I knew things like he had a PhD in physics. Or a masters in nuclear engineering.. Hell, he had a stack of degrees. He was the director of testing at one of the Livermore laser labs, and at another point one of the super computing facilities. He built the NOC at Globalcenter back during the early days of the Internet boom, and was literally right there for a number of milestones in the early history of the Internet in a number of different contexts. We built some of the most advanced data-centers in Asia under his direction. He had a hell of a history, a ton of stories, and seemed to know someone everywhere. Back at IAWK, people regarded his rolodex like a weapon of mass destruction. He was always good for advice. I imagine that there are many people who knew him recently who only know a fraction of his background... Walt Finley, landlord of the industrial complex where Red Rock is a tenant, said that about a month ago, McCauley complained to him about "terrible stomach trouble." And, Finley recalled following the suicide, the manager of Daily Buzz told him that McCauley recently was treated in a hospital emergency room. But on Arizona-Coffee.com's thread devoted to McCauley's death, business associate Ron Cortez relayed the news that "Red Rock was going through serious financial struggles and Bill was getting behind in payments with many of his suppliers."
This is really troubling to me. It doesn't fit my image of Bill. I really want to think that bad health and financial troubles wouldn't be enough to even put a dent into the man's fortitude.. I think Bill was more lonely then he ever let on.. He always lived alone. Maybe the coffee house was a way for him to defeat being lonely. It's strange how someone can be so outgoing and generally good spirited, but be harboring something that would make them set themselves on fire. It's a truly uncomfortable thing to try to reason through why someone would do something like this after they are gone. No notes. No emails. No myspace posts. No twitters. No clues present in any of Bill's usual places.. No sense to any of it.. This has really taken me for a loop.. I'm going to really miss Bill. I was planning to find a way to visit him and see the coffee house in the next year... |