My committee of couch potatoes decided I should play it cool, with just a simple handshake and introduction. This seemed like a lackluster idea, but acknowledging my own lack of expertise, I offered the suggestion up to Sandy. She seemed a little flat on the concept, so I whipped out my own backup idea: When I met my date, I would hand him the remote control to my vibrating underpants. Sandy paused, then burst out with "I would fucking LOVE you if you did that!"

Something I stumbled over that made me laugh.