janelane wrote:
Regarding the Weather
It's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic!
It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
It’s hotter than two rabbits making babies in a sock!

Not particularly handsome
He’s uglier than the east end of a horse headed west
He looks like something the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.
He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.
She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house!
If I had a dog as ugly as him, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Living in sin
I heard they ate supper before they said grace!

[Random Expressions]
He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. (he can't sing)
He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow. (he's self-centered)
Don't you piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! (don't underestimate my intelligence)
That coffee's strong enough to float an iron wedge. (???)
Each one of his sermons is better than the next! (getting worse)
She’s resting in peace in the marble orchard. (she's dead and buried)
I had to tell him how the hog eats the cabbage. (didn't understand and required an explanation)
He knows how the hog eats the cabbage. (you may trust his analysis of the situation.)
That dog won't hunt. (the suggestion isn't feasible)
I ain't got no dog in this race. (I have no stake in what's going on.)
We can do anything that can be done by us. (said if you're in a bind)
We'll do it by mean strength and awkwardness. (said if you're facing a difficult task)
You can stick a cat in the oven but that don't make it a biscuit. (that's an infeasible solution)
How are you fixed for bread? (do you have enough bread?)
One wheel in the dirt. (about to go out of control)
.Shitting in tall cotton. (doing well in life)

Here's some more...
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
Shit or get off the pot. (do something or get out of the way)
Couldn't hit dirt with a shovel.
Couldn't hit water if he/she fell outta a boat.
"Sitting in tall cotton", (meaning the cotton has grown well, and you have a substantial crop to go to market... meaning $$$)
Half on the road. (out of control)

RE: Southern Expressions: Part 3