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This page contains all of the posts and discussion on MemeStreams referencing the following web page: Southern Expressions: Part 3. You can find discussions on MemeStreams as you surf the web, even if you aren't a MemeStreams member, using the Threads Bookmarklet.

Southern Expressions: Part 3
by janelane at 1:36 pm EDT, Apr 11, 2007

Regarding the Weather
It's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic!
It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
It’s hotter than two rabbits making babies in a sock!

Not particularly handsome
He’s uglier than the east end of a horse headed west
He looks like something the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.
He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.
She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house!
If I had a dog as ugly as him, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Living in sin
I heard they ate supper before they said grace!

[Random Expressions]
He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. (he can't sing)
He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow. (he's self-centered)
Don't you piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! (don't underestimate my intelligence)
That coffee's strong enough to float an iron wedge. (???)
Each one of his sermons is better than the next! (getting worse)
She’s resting in peace in the marble orchard. (she's dead and buried)
I had to tell him how the hog eats the cabbage. (didn't understand and required an explanation)
He knows how the hog eats the cabbage. (you may trust his analysis of the situation.)
That dog won't hunt. (the suggestion isn't feasible)
I ain't got no dog in this race. (I have no stake in what's going on.)
We can do anything that can be done by us. (said if you're in a bind)
We'll do it by mean strength and awkwardness. (said if you're facing a difficult task)
You can stick a cat in the oven but that don't make it a biscuit. (that's an infeasible solution)
How are you fixed for bread? (do you have enough bread?)
One wheel in the dirt. (about to go out of control)
.Shitting in tall cotton. (doing well in life)
Too much sugar for the dime. (overwhelming or false praise)
Just leave it where Jesus flung it. (don't mess with that)
He called her everything but a lady. (insults)
She needs some fries to go with that shake. (she's good-looking)


 
RE: Southern Expressions: Part 3
by dc0de at 10:36 pm EDT, Apr 11, 2007

janelane wrote:
Regarding the Weather
It's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic!
It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
It’s hotter than two rabbits making babies in a sock!

Not particularly handsome
He’s uglier than the east end of a horse headed west
He looks like something the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.
He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.
She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house!
If I had a dog as ugly as him, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Living in sin
I heard they ate supper before they said grace!

[Random Expressions]
He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. (he can't sing)
He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow. (he's self-centered)
Don't you piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! (don't underestimate my intelligence)
That coffee's strong enough to float an iron wedge. (???)
Each one of his sermons is better than the next! (getting worse)
She’s resting in peace in the marble orchard. (she's dead and buried)
I had to tell him how the hog eats the cabbage. (didn't understand and required an explanation)
He knows how the hog eats the cabbage. (you may trust his analysis of the situation.)
That dog won't hunt. (the suggestion isn't feasible)
I ain't got no dog in this race. (I have no stake in what's going on.)
We can do anything that can be done by us. (said if you're in a bind)
We'll do it by mean strength and awkwardness. (said if you're facing a difficult task)
You can stick a cat in the oven but that don't make it a biscuit. (that's an infeasible solution)
How are you fixed for bread? (do you have enough bread?)
One wheel in the dirt. (about to go out of control)
.Shitting in tall cotton. (doing well in life)

Here's some more...
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
Shit or get off the pot. (do something or get out of the way)
Couldn't hit dirt with a shovel.
Couldn't hit water if he/she fell outta a boat.
"Sitting in tall cotton", (meaning the cotton has grown well, and you have a substantial crop to go to market... meaning $$$)
Half on the road. (out of control)


 
RE: Southern Expressions: Part 3
by Decius at 1:29 am EDT, Apr 12, 2007

One of my favorite moments from William Gibson's Virtual Light, which I highly recommend if you haven't read it:

Nightmare Folk Art was like that, sandwiched between a dead hair-extension franchise and some kind of failing real estate place that sold insurance on the side. NIGHTMARE FOLK ART-SOUTHERN GOTHIC, the letters hand-painted all lumpy and hairy, like mosquito legs in a cartoon, white on black. But with a couple of expensive cars parked out front: a silver-gray Range Rover, looking like Gunhead dressed up for the prom, and one of those little antique Porsche two-seaters that always looked to
Rydell like the wind-up key had fallen off. He gave the Porsche a wide berth; cars like that tended to have hypersensitive anti-theft systems, not to mention hyper-aggressive.

There was a rentacop looking at him through the armored glass of the door; not IntenSecure, but some off brand. Rydell had borrowed a pair of pressed chinos from Kevin. They were a little tight in the waist, but they beat hell out of the orange trunks. He had on a black IntenSecure uniform-shirt with the patches ripped off, his Stetson, and his SWAT shoes. He wasn't sure black really made it with khaki. He pushed the button. The rentacop buzzed him in.

'Got an appointment with Justine Cooper,' he said, taking his sunglasses off.

'With a client,' the rentacop said. He looked about thirty, and like he should've been out on a farm in Kansas or somewhere. Rydell looked over and saw a skinny woman with black hair. She was talking to a fat man who had no hair at all. Trying to sell him something, it looked like.

'I'll wait,' Rydell said.

The farmer didn't answer. State law said he couldn't have a gun, just the industrial-strength stunner he wore in a beat-up plastic holster, but he probably did anyway. One of those little Russian hold-outs that chambered some godawful overheated caliber originally intended for killing the engine blocks of tanks. The Russians, never too safety-minded, had the market in Saturday-night specials.

Rydell looked around. That ol' Rapture was big at Nightmare Folk Art, he decided. Those kind of Christians, his father had always maintained, were just pathetic. There the Millennium had up, come, and gone, no Rapture to speak of, and here they were, still beating that same drum. Sublett and his folks down in their trailer-camp in Texas, watching old movies for Reverend Fallon-at least that had some kind of spin on it.

He tried to sneak a look, see what the lady was trying to sell to the fat man, but she caught his eye and that wasn't good. So he worked his way deeper into the shop, pretending to check out the merchandise. There was a whole section of these nasty-looking spidery wreath-things, behind glass in faded gilt frames. The wreaths looked to Rydell like they were made of frizzy old hair. There were tiny little baby coffins, all corroded, and one of them had been planted with ivy. There we... [ Read More (0.6k in body) ]


 
 
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