from: https://www.linkedin.com/in/osbornekevin

Summary

- Turns up late, most every day. Programming engine doesn't really
kick in 'til midafternoon, and up until then will happily browse RSS
feeds, write personal emails, and fantasize about peforming sordid sex
acts while staring out the window.
- When finally getting around to tapping something useful out on the
keyboard, will produce code that is often enough of a particularly
poor quality. The insufferable banality of domain-specific business
logic drives the extrusion of nothing other than fetid little stools
of code, like a mangy cat with a bent tail and gammy leg squatting and
mewling as its little programming-porticullis lets loose with yet
another poorly formed explusion.
- Soon enough will be back to circumventing the internet filter and
logging on to home linux boxen to manage bittorrent downloads and
perform housekeeping tasks (a.k.a filing freshly downloaded porn by
size and colour of sexual extremity and number of partners involved).
- Managers will find the candidate to be just as much an insufferable
prig as any other engineer, believing that anyone not coding full-time
is semi-imbecilic and finding your needs for 'on-time' and 'on-budget'
to be the plaintive whinings of a corporate shill who sold out to the
man long ago.
- When entering into salary and performance reviews passive-agressive
neuroticism will only be matched by overinflated sense of self-worth
and entitlement. Will be miffed if renumeration extortions are not
ridiculous enough and leave in the middle of a late project to swan
off to yet another deluded firm who have no idea that any engineer
worth their salt can swan by hacking 100 minutes of mangled
obfuscation a week while still billing 40 hours plus overtime.

Specialties:
Skiving, Bilking, Surfing, Bludging. Watercooler Etiquette. Nose
Picking, Masturbation on the Premises, Intermittent Bathing. Stealing
Stationery and Peripherals, Posting the entire IP Codebase on
Sourceforge.

hahahaha!