After years of toiling and desperation, our engineers at ThinkGeek Gift Labs(TM) have finally invented something so unique and innovative, it perplexes even the brightest minds as to how global society might be impacted. We'll explain it to you but if your brain explodes, we warned you. You see, we have taken the flesh of a tree, mixed it up with some water and other patented goos. Then we took both some organic and inorganic pigments and dissolved them into a solvent. We took those pigments and applied them to the top of the modified tree flesh using very specific and highly intelligent patterns, and then coated everything with a nice protective finish made out of a special liquid that contains a low percentage of pigment and dries to a nice luster. We then folded these new creations and packaged four to a package and are selling them to you at a very affordable price so that you can turn around and use them to cover up things you want to gift to other people so that they might be surprised in a controlled manner.
