Halloween, from the perspective of a pumpkin. Man...I feel like an asshole now:)

Oh please. It's a plant! It's a "renewable resource". We breed them to be carved up, the same way we raise our children to be consumers.

Unless you are going to transcend to the 12th level of veganism (or whatever the hell it is, the one where you don't eat anything that casts a shadow), then pay it no mind.. Have some Jello. Carve a pumpkin. Eat a truffle. Et cetera..

And remember, it's all fun and games until you create a stem cell. Even then, there is room for debate..

And the angel of the lord came unto me,
snatching me up from my place of slumber.
And took me on high, and higher still
until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself.
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest.
And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear.
And terror possesed me then.
And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat
like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared,
"Hear me now, I have seen the light!
They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul!
Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses!
Save our brothers!"
Can I get an amen?
Can I get a hallelujah?
Thank you Jesus.

And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."

Now you have gone WAY too far. This is taken completely out of context. The harvesting of the carrots is _not_ a genocide. If it was, there would be no more carrots by now, because we have been harvesting and eating them for a very long time. We love the carrots. There is no better caretaker of the carrots interests on this planet then us. It is an HONOR to be eaten by us. If we like eating a certain plant, you can be assured it will never go extinct (to the degree we don't go extinct). And if you try to say I am advocating eugenics, I will bludgeon you to death with my mouse.

Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses!

When have I EVER stopped a rabbit from wearing glasses?!? Name me _one_ time...

I will not stand for these personal attacks.